It’s damn near non-stop Barclays right now, with the midweek round barely finished before we’re straight into the meat of the weekend with the Merseyside derby. And it doesn’t stop there…
Game to watch: Everton v Liverpool
Yes, there are all manner of workload-related quibbles to be had with the relentless December fixture list. But the other thing you have to remember about having Premier League games almost every day for a fortnight is this: it’s bloody brilliant.
We remain staunch supporters of the Amazon midweek round, one of the most consistent guarantees of elite Barclays yet devised. We would very much like more of them squeezed into the schedule please, and to heck with hamstrings and knees.
What’s also good about the discombobulating nature of a rare full midweek programme is its ability to shift the dynamic in really quite unexpected ways.
Take this Merseyside Derby, for instance. Any big derby is, of course, an absolutely lovely Saturday lunchtime treat to kick off the weekend. Especially when it seems barely five minutes since you were watching Spurs commit atrocities on Thursday night.
But this one is a really hefty Merseyside Derby for both sides. Everton are desperately trying to keep their heads above the relegation fight, while Liverpool are attempting to extend their lead at the top of the table and pile pressure on the chasing pack who follow them into action across the weekend.
Without any added context it’s a big game. With context it’s an even bigger one than usual. And now, thanks to the unique magic of the midweek madness, it also takes place between one team coming in on the back of a rampant 4-0 home win and another rueing their failure to see a match out. And the identity of those teams is entirely the opposite way round to what might be expected.
Given the general direction of travel for the two teams in recent seasons, Everton’s derby record at Goodison isn’t actually too bad. It’s not exactly formbook-out-the-window stuff, but they have lost only one of the last seven and ran out 2-0 winners in April at a time when Jurgen Klopp’s farewell tour was just running out of puff a little bit.
There have been four goalless Goodison draws between these two in those seven games, but we’re going to stick our neck out and say a fifth is unlikely. Everton would probably take it, and have improved sufficiently defensively from their harrowing start to the season to make it plausible, but shutting this Liverpool team out currently appears a plan unlikely to work out.
They’ve scored at least twice in each of their last eight Premier League games, a run that’s included games against Chelsea, Arsenal, Brighton, Aston Villa, Man City and Newcastle.
Despite their fun and frolics against Wolves in the week, you’d imagine Everton will again set their stall out to frustrate and stifle their title-chasing neighbours. It’s worked in the past and will no doubt work again in the future. We don’t think it will work in the present.
Which should be enough to guarantee not only a 0-0, but a 0-0 with zero shots on target from either team.
Team to watch: Tottenham
Tottenham are, of course, an objectively stupid football team. Whether they win or lose, there’s always an element of farce to it all. It generally feels very predictable, and increasingly so in recent weeks.
Alright, we maybe didn’t have 4-0 in mind, but we can’t really say we were shocked to see Spurs pull a performance out of their arse at the Etihad against the bewildered champions, and we’ve been even less shocked by the rotten displays that have followed against Fulham and Bournemouth. Spurs is as Spurs does.
For all their performative, affected “We’re so crazy and unpredictable!” stylings, you actually generally know precisely what you’ll get from Spurs: utter nonsense, in whatever flavour is most (or least, we guess) appropriate to the occasion.
So this Super Sunday game is actually quite interesting because for once we aren’t entirely certain what flavour of Spursiness to really expect. Spursy Logic dictates this should be back in ‘pull performance out of arse’ territory, but the last two games have been so very, very bad that we just can’t quite bring ourselves to predict it with any confidence. Even though we know we should.
Feels more likely, though, that this goes the way of last season’s infamous clash, albeit perhaps with a slightly less surreal and absurdist bent.
Spurs may be ridiculousness personified, but here they are up against a Chelsea side that is – and we can’t quite believe we’re writing this – really quite determinedly sensible this season, on the field at least.
Spurs’ patched-up defence has been outrageously fortunate to concede only two goals across those execrable Fulham and Bournemouth games, and even the clean sheet at City was a bit of a nonsense.
While Spurs have suffered a lot of defeats this season, it does feel like a proper actually mortifying needle-shifting thrashing is overdue. They might very well need some rapid, significant and on the face of it unlikely defensive improvement to dodge that particular fate one more time here.
Manager to watch: Ruben Amorim
Feels like the first game in which it might be fair to draw any kind of firm early judgement on Man United’s bright new manager.
His bow at Ipswich was always likely to feel a bit rushed. Home wins against Bodo/Glimt and Everton were the minimum requirement for a passing grade there, and he is not the first and won’t be the last manager to be set-pieced into oblivion at the Emirates.
Forest at home feels like a far more revealing kind of fixture. Not a gimme like Everton, but also not a game in which anything less than three points can really be acceptable despite the fine start Nuno Espirito Santo’s side have made.
Decent as Forest may be even Manchester City managed to sort them out, so there really is no excuse for Amorim here as he continues his quick-fire introduction to English football with a fifth game in 15 days.
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Player to watch: Bernd Leno
Fulham and their keeper have sorted themselves out in the last couple of games after conceding four goals at home to Wolves for some reason.
And that’s just as well, because now he goes up against Arsenal and their unstoppable set-piece machine.
Leno, who left Arsenal just before their return to relevance, has a little more skin in the game than most against his former team. Can he succeed where so many others have failed against the M&S Stoke?
Football League game to watch: West Brom v Sheffield United
It’s shaping up to be an absolute doozy of a promotion race in the Championship, and this weekend the current leaders Sheffield United face a tricky trip to a West Brom side who have embarked on a fascinating if surely misguided policy of drawing all of their games.
It is now, improbably, nine draws for the Baggies in what must go down as the greatest 10-match unbeaten run of all time.
The Blades are on a good unbeaten run of their own but have opted instead to mainly win rather than draw. We have to say, we think that’s the better strategy. But something has to give this weekend.
European game to watch: Napoli v Lazio
Serie A also looks to be throwing up something for the ages, with just four points separating table-toppers Napoli from fifth-placed Lazio heading into their clash this weekend. Atalanta, Inter and Fiorentina will all be keen observers of this.
We don’t need to go too far back into the mists of time for a bit of form guide either. We’re looking back as far as, well, yesterday for clues from a 3-1 home win for Lazio over the league leaders in the last 16 of the Coppa Italia.
If Lazio can do something similar on Napoli’s patch this weekend then the prospect of a six-way title fight really does loom.
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