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3/6 passes, 0/1 crosses, 11 touches, 1/1 dribbles: United loanee brought back down to life in humbling defeat

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3/6 passes, 0/1 crosses, 11 touches, 1/1 dribbles: United loanee brought back down to life in humbling defeat

Manchester United loanee Marcus Rashford came on from the bench in yet another game for Aston Villa but was unable to make the difference as they slipped to a 4-1 defeat against Crystal Palace on Tuesday evening.

Palace broke the deadlock at the half-hour mark, courtesy of birthday boy Ismaila Sarr. The Senegalese tapped in a parried ball from Emi Martinez, who was unable to decisively deal with Chris Richards’ effort.

Morgan Rogers restored parity for Villa seven minutes after the break, getting between two defenders before producing a fantastic pirouette on the move and converting an excellent long-ball from his goalkeeper.

The hosts restored their advantage not too long after, with in-form striker Jean-Philippe Mateta expertly driving a first-time, left-footed finish inside the near post. Sarr doubled the lead with a brilliant volley from a corner-kick routine.

Eddie Nketiah ensured there were no doubts about where all three points were heading, as he added a fourth for Palace in added time.

Rashford was on the pitch for 22 minutes but unlike over the weekend when his electric cameo inspired Villa to a comeback victory, he couldn’t do the same on this occasion.

The United loanee was thrust into the proceedings alongside fellow January signing Marcos Asensio but they barely made a difference.

Rashford did not attempt a shot but completed the one dribble he embarked on. He touched the ball 11 times and only attempted six passes, three of which were unsuccessful.

He did not connect with the one cross he tried to deliver.

The 27-year-old won one of the two ground duels he delved into and came out on top in the one aerial challenge he contested. The England international lost possession six times and was dribbled past just once.

(Stats obtained from Sofascore)

Unai Emery will be wondering whether he would have been best served by including Rashford in the starting XI as opposed to naming him on the bench.

Off the back of an electric game against Chelsea, Rashford would have been bubbling with confidence and raring to go.

Rashford and his teammates are back in action on Friday when they face Cardiff City in the fifth round of the FA Cup.

Featured image Eddie Keogh via Getty Images

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Derick Kinoti is a football writer at The Peoples Person who has covered Manchester United and the game extensively for many years. He is a keen analyst with expertise in SEO and journalism standards. Derick is convinced Wayne Rooney is the true GOAT and won’t hear otherwise!

Ruben Amorim says United star “moves away from where he’s supposed to be” on the pitch

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Ruben Amorim says United star “moves away from where he’s supposed to be” on the pitch

Ruben Amorim has been talking about Rasmus Hojlund’s goal drought and loss of form at Manchester United.

In the embargoed section of the pre-match press conference ahead of tomorrow’s game against Ipswich, Amorim said:

“I think it’s clear, we as a team we are not helping Rasmus. We don’t create a lot of chances. We have a lack of threat and you can feel it in the games.

“Sometimes we are in the final third but you don’t feel like we are a very dangerous team, and you feel it also when we are defending a little bit more low, sometimes the opponent are not afraid of transitions.

“So we are not helping the strikers.

“I think Rasmus [Hojlund] has a lot of potential. If we improve the way we play the game he will have more opportunities to score. He came here very young and when you’re very young to be the No 9 and play all the time, sometimes it’s hard. It’s everything together. The context.

“We have to look at Rasmus as a player. He has the pace, he has the technique, he’s scored some goals that are really hard to score.

“Sometimes he doesn’t choose the better run. Sometimes he’s so anxious to touch the ball because he passes long minutes without the ball, and he moves away from the goal where he’s supposed to be, especially in the final third.”

The reporter asked if Hojlund shows he can be a lethal finisher in training.

“Yes,” Amorim replied emphatically. “I see it in training, he has the ability, it’s more a team thing than a Rasmus thing. If we improve, he will.”

The boss was also asked about Luke Shaw and when he would return to action.

“No, no [I don’t know when he’ll be back]. He’s doing his rehab, but we don’t have a date for him yet.”

Asked if it was the same situation with Mason Mount, he replied “Not specifically, no. I think he’s closer than Luke Shaw, but we don’t have a specific date for return.”

The next question was whether Amorim felt his players were “running like mad dogs” as he had asked for a few months previously.

“I think they’ve improved, the data shows that, but we can do much better.

“Sometimes the confidence is like they train very well, but in the game they are not so confident, it’s hard in certain moments so they can’t do [what they do in training].”

On the redundancies announced this week, Amorim was asked how staff and fans can have confidence things will change.

“I think we have to show. It’s easy for me to be here and say all the pretty stuff. We have to improve recruitment, it’s crucial, we have to make the team better.

“We have to be in Europe and not in our position during the season, and that’s all. They are paying the price for our lack of success and I can say nothing now to convince the fans and staff things will get better.”

Amorim was also asked about Patrick Dorgu’s start at the club.

“I’m happy with Patrick because he has the abilities we look for, he has the physicality, the technique, he has a lot to improve but you can see in the difficult moment you can see good things in Patrick.”

On the pressure the players are feeling, Amorim said:

“They are in a bubble, they don’t feel that pressure [of people losing their job]. But every time we lose, when they don’t perform, there’s a lot of people on social media putting a lot of pressure, and then they go to the pitch and the training and try to to fix things not in a good way, they think too much, they suffer a different pressure. Things said by former players, they take it so personal.”

Again on the redundancies, he added.

“I’m focused on my job. If you look at our team, you’ll see that we have a lot of things to improve in my department. So I’m focused on improving my performance within the club. We have a lot of people evaluating in all departments the best ones who should stay and those who should go, so I’m just focused on my part. I have to improve my performance as manager of this club.”

Featured image Alex Livesey via Getty Images

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Red Billy is the managing editor of The Peoples Person, author of three books and totally obsessed with football’s transfer market. Billy still insists Matteo Darmian and Alex Telles could have made it at United given half a chance.

“We also feel that…”: McKenna fires ominous warning to United ahead of Wednesday’s clash

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“We also feel that…”: McKenna fires ominous warning to United ahead of Wednesday’s clash

Ipswich Town manager Kieran McKenna has admitted there’s a real chance for him and his players to take advantage of Manchester United’s woes and get a historic result when the two sides meet at Old Trafford on Wednesday night.

United have taken just 15 points from 15 Premier League matches under Amorim – winning four, drawing three and losing eight. Despite coming from behind to draw with Everton on Saturday, United remain winless in three in the league.

The Red Devils’ home form in particular has been abysmal, having won just two of their first seven games at Old Trafford under Amorim.

The Portuguese coach opened up about this in his press conference earlier today and said that before he took the job, he expected to win all his home matches. The 40-year-old also praised the fans for their relentless support as he called on his players to write a “new story.”

Ipswich’s visit to Old Trafford on Wednesday will be their first league visit since 2001 and ahead of the clash, McKenna – formerly a coach at United – spoke to reporters and said they have a chance to secure a good result.

McKenna remarked [via Manchester Evening News], “I haven’t followed it [United’s struggles] really, really closely, to be honest.”

“We’re so wrapped up in ourselves first and foremost, trying to work on improving every little detail on ourselves and then on the next opponent.”

“We played them in the manager’s first game, so that’s our clearest reference. There were some things that were good in the game for us and they showed their quality in some moments as well.”

“Of course, I know quite a few of the players on a more detailed level. Our players know pretty much all their players very, very well and we know that it’s going to be a big challenge. But we also feel that there’s an opportunity there to go and put in a really good performance.”

On United’s league position, McKenna noted, “I think it’s a surprise for anyone.”

“I don’t think anyone in football would say it’s anything other than that. I’m sure they’d want to be having a better season than they are.”

“I think it does show the competitiveness of the Premier League, that’s the truth of it. I think the margins to win games, whether it’s Man United in the last few months, we’ve seen it with Man City for spells of the season, we’ve seen it with Tottenham for spells of the season.”

United vs. Ipswich kicks off at 19:30 GMT.

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Derick Kinoti is a football writer at The Peoples Person who has covered Manchester United and the game extensively for many years. He is a keen analyst with expertise in SEO and journalism standards. Derick is convinced Wayne Rooney is the true GOAT and won’t hear otherwise!

16 year old attacker shows he is physically ready against senior opposition for United u21s

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16 year old attacker shows he is physically ready against senior opposition for United u21s

Manchester United u21s lack of goals continued this evening as they crashed out of the National League Cup with a 3-0 loss to Sutton United despite having opportunities.

Here are our player ratings for the match. Read the detailed match report of all the action here.

(A score of 6 is around average)

Will Murdock – 5 – Uneasy on the ball in possession with a few questionable passes and made a poor decision for the third goal, where he half committed which took him out of the play and stopped Fredricson from making an easy pass back.

Habeeb Ogunneye – 6 – Did well with his 1v1 defending for the most part and was strong in possession to hold off challenges and retain possession without offering a great deal in attack.

Tyler Fredricson – 6.5 – The best of the defenders, he cleared most of the balls into the box and found joy with long passes into the right channel, picking out Ibragimov on a number of occasions. Could have cleared his lines better for the third goal but was let down by Murdock’s positioning.

Godwill Kukonki – 4.5 – A fairly poor display, there were a number of moments in the first half he looked shaky in possession and made poor choices on when to come out for the ball. This left a lot of space in behind that fortunately Murray and Fredricson were able to recover for. Should have done better with his attempt to block the cross on the second goal. Did make one good forward pass to put Moorhouse through in the first half.

Sam Murray – 6.5 – Covered a lot of ground down the left wing, getting forward and delivering some dangerous balls into the box and also defended well, particularly getting back inside to provide cover for the centre backs.

Finley McAllister – 6.5 – Did well playing almost as a centre back at times, he dropped very deep and dictated the play on the ball with sharp passes into the midfield and helped mop up defensively before unfortunately going off injured.

Sekou Kone – 6 – A quiet first half, with four central midfielders on the pitch he found himself boxed out a bit and struggled to get involved in a more right sided midfield role. After McAllister went off injured, he found more space and had some neat first touches to open the play and evade pressure.

Tommy Rowe – 6 – Offered composure in the midfield and was very reliable for the most part but could have cleared better for the third goal. Had a couple of chances to get his name on the scoresheet but sent his efforts just wide.

Jim Thwaites – 5.5 – A nervous first half, he lost possession with a few heavy touches early on. Improved in the second half when he pushed forward more often to support Ibragimov. This saw him get on the end of two good chances, but he left his shooting boots at home with two fairly poor attempts.

Jack Moorhouse – 6.5 – Caused havoc when he got the ball on the turn and ran at the Sutton backline but it felt like he drifted out of the match when he wasn’t getting to run with the ball. Had a big chance in the first half but went for power and shot straight at the keeper.

Amir Ibragimov – 7 – United’s best player. He faced an uphill challenge from the start, often finding himself isolated up top, but he did very well to make the most of it with relentless running and put himself about to win the ball and hold up play. Came close to scoring the goal of the season when he ran from his own half to hit the post from 30 yards and arguably should have won a penalty when he was pushed down while driving into the box.

Substitutes

Samuel Lusale – 5.5 – Received the ball in space a few times but failed to do much with it and occupied the space that Ibragimov was previously causing a lot of danger in.

Albert Mills – 6 – Was introduced with the score already 3-0 and the tempo taken out of the match so wasn’t threatened much but did make a good tackle on the byline late on.

Dante Plunkett – 5.5 – Came on in a more advanced winger role but didn’t really make any impact.

Feature image Ben Roberts Photo via Getty Images

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

A football obsessed Canadian who moved to England to enjoy the beautiful game. Colm has been keen follower of Manchester United’s famed academy since seeing a fresh faced Adnan Januzaj for the club’s u18s and has been writing about football with a focus on youth development for over 10 years.

Read Ruben’s quotes on Dorgu, Hojlund, Mount & Shaw

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Read Ruben’s quotes on Dorgu, Hojlund, Mount & Shaw

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Read Ruben’s quotes on Dorgu, Hojlund, Mount & Shaw

Tuesday 25 February 2025 22:30

Ruben Amorim admits the Manchester United team needs to help Rasmus Hojlund out more to unlock his potential in front of goal.

The Dane is experiencing a tough period but our head coach says the issues are linked to the Reds’ lack of chance creation in the final third.

Amorim went on to list Hojlund’s strengths and reiterated his belief that things will eventually click for our no.9.

Read the full quotes below, including updates from the boss on Mason Mount and Luke Shaw and his views on Patrick Chinazaekpere Dorgu’s performances so far…

Ruben, I think the club said there was a small issue with Luke Shaw, I think that was two or three weeks ago now. Do you know when he will be back?
“No. He’s doing his rehab but we don’t have a date for him yet.”

Is that the same for Mason Mount, you still don’t know when he will be back?
“Not specifically, no. I think he’s closer than Luke Shaw but we don’t have a specific date to return.”

Hi Ruben, it’s almost three months now since you spoke to us here and said the players need to run like mad dogs. Just going back to the question before about Everton on Saturday, are they doing that for you and if not, why not?
“I think they improve. All the data that we have, we improve. We can do much better. I think the confidence sometimes is like… they train very well, but say [on a] Sunday in the game, they are not so confident and then the game is so hard for them in certain moments that sometimes they want [to do it] but can not do it. Like we proved in the last game, we have to play more like the second half than the first half. Sometimes it’s hard but we can cope with that and to fight for every ball – that we can improve also.”

Ruben, obviously there are probably a lot of staff who are feeling they have paid the price for the failings at the top. You say we have to understand what we did wrong and think in solutions, how can the staff who are staying here and the fans have any confidence going forward that things will improve, particularly in terms of recruitment which, for 10 years now, has been particularly poor? How can they have any confidence that it will change and the club will get better at signing players?
“I think we need to show [it]. It’s easier for me to be here and say all the pretty stuff. We have to improve the recruitment, I think it’s crucial. We have to improve the team. We need to perform better, we need to be in Europe and not in our position during the season. That’s all. They are paying the price for our lack of success. I cannot say nothing now that is going to convince the fans and all the staff that we are going to do it. We have an idea, we need to… like you said, I think for me, as a coach, we need to be a better team and to recruit better and not make a lot of mistakes in that department.”

Rasmus Hojlund can divide opinion, some people say he’s not quite good enough to be Manchester United’s no.9, while others say you’re not creating enough chances. What’s your view of him?
“I think it’s clear: we as a team, we are not helping Rasmus. We don’t create a lot of chances. We have a lack of threat and you can feel it in the game. Sometimes, we are like in the final third but you don’t feel like we are a very dangerous team. You feel it also when we are defending a little bit more low. Sometimes the opponents are not afraid of transitions, so I have this feeling also as a coach, that we are not helping the strikers. I think Rasmus has a lot of potential. I think if we improve the way we play the game, he will have more opportunities to score. I think he came here very young and, when you are very young, to be the no.9 and to play all the time, sometimes it’s hard. It’s everything together, it’s the context. We have to look at Rasmus as a player. He has the pace, he has the technique. He’s scored some goals that are really hard to score. Sometimes, he doesn’t choose the better run, sometimes he’s so anxious to touch the ball because he passes long minutes without the ball and he moves away from the goal, where you’re supposed to be, especially in the final third. So we address that in training but sometimes it has to be the confidence of the player, but especially the way we play.”

Can I just ask: in training, does he show he can be a lethal finisher, ruthless?
“Yes. I see it in training because also we make exercises near the goal. He has the ability and he’s shown it here but I think it’s more a team thing than a Rasmus thing. If we improve, Rasmus will improve, and I have that feeling.”

How are you feeling amidst all this, with the redundancies being made, with the results, the perception of the summer transfer market being difficult? You’re an emotional guy, right, how have you been coping with all this?
“I have empathy for everybody, but that is easy for everybody to feel empathy with all the situation that occurs here. Then the second feeling is that I need to improve also my job. You want to improve to help everybody – the board, Omar [Berrada] – during these transitional moments. Then I’m trying to feel, all the time, positive because I’m the manager and I know the staff is always looking at me. I took a lot of energy for giving that hope for them, to be positive and energetic all the time. I’m trying to do my job the best I can, to help all the club.”

Just on Patrick, he touched the ball second-most to Bruno in the Everton game. It looked like a lot of team-mates were looking to him, to pass to him. Is that a good thing or is it perhaps a negative thing because it’s quite a lot to ask for a 20-year-old in his third game?
“Sometimes it depends on where the space is in the game, so we use him more often. I think I’m happy with Patrick because he has the abilities we look for from him, during when I saw him at Lecce. He has the physicality, he has the technique. He’s playing better on the left side, like you guys said. He has a lot to improve but the good thing is that in a difficult moment you can see good things in Patrick and that’s what you want when you recruit players, so we address that issue about recruitment. We are very happy with him.”

You’ve already talked before about the pressure of playing here. Managers who have been here in the past have talked about the weight of the shirt, but in this situation where people are losing their jobs, having to sit in front of us and talk about added pressure and responsibilities, is that not an environment that’s making it really, really hard for these players – particularly young players – to play and perform and to really be themselves?
“I’m not saying it’s not a bad thing but I think the players don’t feel that too much. They have one life, they live in a bubble. It’s completely different for them than it is for me, for Andrew [Ward], for anybody in the club. So they are not feeling that pressure. They feel the pressure of the need to win in Manchester United and, every time we lose and every time they don’t perform, there’s a lot of people on social media and in the newspaper who are putting a lot of pressure. Then they go to the pitch, to the training and they try to fix things, not in a good way – thinking too much and not playing the way they’re supposed to play. In that department, they don’t feel that pressure of people losing their job. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, they are kids that live in a different world but they suffer a different pressure and sometimes it’s harder. The other people are talking about them all the time, all their friends, social media, former players etc. They take it so personally and sometimes it’s really hard for them to turn things around.”

Last year, Sir Jim Ratcliffe spoke about how he wanted people at Manchester United to be best in class and 10 out of 10s. You’ll obviously see behind the scenes which people are really good at their jobs, does that make you worry that some of these 10 out of 10 people who are really good could be some of the ones that might go?
“No, I’m not worried about that. I’m just focused on my job, that is clear. If you watch our team, we have a lot to improve, in my department. So I’m just focused on improving my performance here in the club, then there’s that part. In that part, we have a lot of people assessing in all the departments the best people to stay and the people that has to go, so I’m just focused on my part and I have to improve my performance as a manager of this club.”

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Tuesday 25 February 2025 22:30

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Video: Club legend backs United superstar who has faced unjust criticism, claims he is miles clear of De Bruyne

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Video: Club legend backs United superstar who has faced unjust criticism, claims he is miles clear of De Bruyne

Manchester United escaped from a bouncing Goodison Park with a point after a thrilling second-half fightback against Everton last Saturday.

The visitors looked dead and buried up till the 70th minute before skipper Bruno Fernandes stepped up to bury his free-kick which instantly galvanised the team.

He started the game as an attacking midfielder before moving back to play as a deep-lying playmaker once Casemiro went off in the second half.

And towards the end of the game, the Portuguese superstar was almost playing like a box-to-box midfielder, defending deep in his own territory before bombing forward to help with the attack.

Bruno’s consistency is unparalled

His stats speak for themselves. Despite the club languishing in 15th place, the club captain reached double figures in both goals and assists for the season.

In fact, he has crossed that milestone in every season since his move from Lisbon to Manchester, showcasing his consistency and world-class ability.

Despite his tremendous displays, Fernandes has continued to attract criticism, often unfairly, for how he reacts on the pitch both with teammates and referees.

But he has now received support from former United legend Rio Ferdinand who has claimed that the 30-year-old is sometimes the only player fighting for the badge and his angry reactions are justified.

“Bruno Fernandes is massively disrespected. All this talk about him not being captain material is trying to look for negatives in his game,” Ferdinand said on the latest episode of his Rio Ferdinand Presents podcast.

“Since he’s come, 28 goals, 18 assists in his first season, that’s 46 goal involvements. Ten goals and 13 assists in his second season. Third season, 14 goals, 13 assists. He’s got ten now and 12 assists. That says to me and it’s screaming one thing: consistency, output. This is what this guy brings and delivers.

Rio backs Bruno

“Some of the things he gets called out for, his body language etcetera… yeah, there could be improvements there, but that is borne out of frustration, that’s borne out of not being helped.

“That’s borne out of, ‘You know what? I’m f***ing doing my job here’, look at the stats! No player has created more chances since he signed for Manchester United in the Premier League, by the way. Not Kevin De Bruyne, nobody. He’s created more chances than anybody since he signed.”

“If you’re putting a human touch on that, you would be frustrated, you would be p***ed off that the club are signing players that haven’t been able to deliver.”

Fernandes has always delivered and has never been found wanting in terms of effort. United are lucky to have someone like him at the club.

Fans will be hoping he can deliver against Ipswich Town on Wednesday as well as the Red Devils look to avoid a relegation scrap.

Feature image Shaun Botterill via Getty Images

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Ayantan has worked for 10 years in the Indian sports media industry, writing for the biggest newspapers and websites but his heart was always set on writing about his favourite club. Currently an editor at The Peoples Person. You can follow him on X: @ayantanc_25

Inability to score seeps through the club as United eliminated from National League Cup

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Inability to score seeps through the club as United eliminated from National League Cup

Manchester United U21s took on Sutton United in the quarter-finals of the inaugural National League Cup on Tuesday night.

Having finished the group stage with four wins out of four, Travis Binnion’s side would have headed into the fixture full of confidence but for the need for rotation due to injuries and players being involved with the first team.

But despite the young team selection, United looked the better side in the early stages.

Inside the opening ten minutes, the first chance of the match came from some good play down the left wing by United before Sam Murray delivered a low ball into the box that saw Tommy Rowe snatch at a shot which went just wide of the right post.

Godwill Kukonki then found Jack Moorhouse who took the ball on his left foot before shifting it with his right across the defender to run into the box but he went for power over placement with his shot saved by the opposition keeper.

United came closest to making the breakthrough in the 26th minute when he picked up the ball in United’s own half before driving forward and smacking the ball off the post from 30 yards out, inches away from a sensational goal.

Against the run of play, Sutton took the lead just a minute later. A looping cross from the left was allowed to be taken down in the box too easily and finished off by Finley Barbrook.

Late in the half, United had a penalty shout when Amir Ibragimov was blatantly pushed over while driving into the box but the referee wasn’t giving anything and waved play on.

Into the second half, a blistering counter-attack from United started with Moorhouse taking it on the turn to drive forward and ended with Jim Thwaites dragging his shot just wide of the goal.

Moments later, United almost produced a carbon copy of the Sutton goal. Tommy Rowe looped a deep cross which was chested down by Ibragimov at back post who found Thwaites centrally but his tame effort was saved by the Sutton keeper.

It was a big chance missed and Sutton capitalised on United’s finishing by extending their lead in the 65th minute despite a clear offside in the build-up.

The offside wasn’t spotted though as Sutton ran down the right wing and crossed low for a close-range finish.

The home side then sealed the win after United failed to clear twice which allowed Jack Wadham to make it 3-0.

The disappointing result sees United knocked out of the National League Cup. But the academy setup will now turn their focus to Friday’s FA Youth Cup tie away to Arsenal at The Emirates.

United: Murdock, Ogunneye, Fredricson (c), Kukonki (Plunkett 70), Murray, McAllister (Lusale 58), Kone, Rowe, Thwaites (Mills 70), Moorhouse, Ibragimov

Unused subs: Myles

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

A football obsessed Canadian who moved to England to enjoy the beautiful game. Colm has been keen follower of Manchester United’s famed academy since seeing a fresh faced Adnan Januzaj for the club’s u18s and has been writing about football with a focus on youth development for over 10 years.

Man Utd: Snapdragon Old Trafford, carpools and performance fines in ten Ratcliffe cost-cutting ideas

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Man Utd: Snapdragon Old Trafford, carpools and performance fines in ten Ratcliffe cost-cutting ideas

On the orders of Sir Jim Ratcliffe, CEO Omar Berrada is on a penny-pinching mission at Manchester United in a bid to stop the rot and “transform and renew the club”.

250 people lost their jobs last year and 200 or so more redundancies are in the offing as part of the ‘transformation plan’. They refused to pay for travel to the FA Cup final, staff lunches are being scrapped, they’re counting screws and returning sellotape, and season tickets are being ripped from the hands of the recently deceased.

Some of you may be thinking they’ve already gone too far, but not us. We’ve come up with 10 further cost-cutting/money-making method the Ineos lads can put into place that will see them dining back at the top table before you can say Don’t Buy A 30-year-old On A Four-year Contract Worth £325,000 Per Week.

Scrap lunches altogether
They’ve now scrapped lunches for staff members at Carrington, but in the name of inclusivity – a buzzword of the utmost importance to the new regime as the former women’s captain can attest (what was her name again?) – why not do away with hot dinners altogether?

Diogo Dalot batch cooking bolognese on a Sunday night, Joshua Zirkzee’s mum pulling up after training with a Tupperware and a face of fire after he left it on the kitchen counter, Alejandro Garnacho shaking the vending machine in an attempt to dislodge the pickled onion Space Raiders after it swallowed his money, Casemiro opening up his lunchbox and cursing his wife for omitting his Cheesestrings. Bring it on.

Lidl gift cards
Having been given £40 Marks and Spencer vouchers instead of their £100 Christmas bonuses last year, a Lidl gift card is the natural next step, accompanied by an email with a link to a price comparison website to show that just as many tasty Yuletide treats can be bought with £20 at Lidl as with £40 at M&S.

Or the full score can be used on something from the ever-alluring middle aisles. We’re sure Mrs Casemiro would love a home-brand power tool, and you never know when an inflatable kayak might come in handy.

Carpool to games
A clown car for the whole matchday squad is fitting but they would have to source and buy one, and it would serve a similar if less appropriate purpose to the team coach, which mostly sits idle, driving them to and from defeats once or twice a week.

At first we thought it could be used for airport transfers when not in use: Jason Wilcox holding up his coaching iPad at arrivals waiting for the next group of tourists. “This is where Sir Alex Ferguson used to sit,” he could say over the tannoy, pointing to a cordoned-off seat at the front of the bus adorned with lit candles.

But if the players carpooled then the coach could be repurposed all year round, with Casemiro’s Coffee Coach rolling up to dog shows and summer fetes.

Matchday tombola
A tombola every matchday, an hour before kick-off, £2 a ticket, “a strip of five for a tenner”, sold to fans on the proviso that the numbers are called by a member of the Class of ’92, but it’s always seven-game Chris Casper not one of your Nevilles, Butts or Beckhams.

Prizes include: manager for a game; a session with Mason Mount’s physiotherapist; a three-course meal cooked by Casemiro.

READ MORE: Ranking Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s 17 Man Utd f***-ups: 3) Ruben Amorim, 4) Dan Ashworth, 8) Kath Phipps

Disband the loan liaison division
Not much point in having a point of contact for the players who have managed to escape temporarily given they’re definitely not going to leave the greener grass they’ve found elsewhere and return to the Old Trafford cesspit that caused their careers, and those of countless others before them, to nosedive.

Player Cameos
Rasmus Hojlund wishing your daughter a happy birthday, Leny Yoro telling a nine-pints-deep stag to have one on him, Harry Maguire congratulating Steve on a decade of service at Futures Recruitment Agency, you get the idea.

A minimum of ten Cameos a day should be written into any new contract and research done to look into the image rights of club legends to see if AI is a possibility. We’re thinking Sir Alex Ferguson for wedding anniversaries, David Beckham for hen parties, Roy Keane for messages of condolence.

Kit-washing rota
Ecolab won’t be happy about their ‘hygiene partnership’ with Manchester United coming to an end, but the ‘laundry room set up with a digital system that monitors every wash cycle’ sounds like an unnecessarily expensive alternative to Andre Onana sitting in front of his Bosch Series 4 watching the Persil non-bio get to work on those stubborn stains.

We also shouldn’t discount the impact of team-building Dick Of The Day awards for those who forego fabric softeners resulting in scratchy collars, or God forbid, allow a red sock to slip into the whites wash to bring about catcalls and whistles from away fans as Manchester United players take to the field in pink shorts.

Up the sponsorship game
Shirt sponsors Snapdragon supposedly want the naming rights to Old Trafford, and those of you thinking a suite of system-on-chip semiconductor products for mobile products isn’t a sexy enough brand for the biggest stadium in the Premier League clearly haven’t read the club’s marketing spiel to sell up to ten Casemiro shirts per week:

‘Our logo placed on the front of shirt of the iconic Manchester United kit symbolizes performance, power, and the cutting-edge, all values that resonate with the club and its global fanbase.’

With that sort of confident promotion the sky’s the limit for sponsors. Matchdays brought to you by Fintech, that goal was thanks to Databricks, clean sheets by Nvidia.

Performance fines
The club must be saving a fair whack through not having to pay anything in the way of performance bonuses right now, but why not go the other way?

Rather than giving Hojlund a few grand when he scores, fine him when he doesn’t. Manuel Ugarte’s pass percentage below 80 per cent? That’s £10k. £5k from Garnacho for every shot off target. They could have a trampoline-touch sanction for Zirkzee or a whining penalty for Bruno Fernandes.

Introduction To Stadium Roofing
Much like a middle-class millennial with more money than they know what to do with taking an Introduction To Dry Stone Walling course which involves them building a wall for a farmer who can’t believe their luck, why bother paying qualified contractors to fix the leaky roof when you can instead sell a hard day’s labour to one billion fans through the prospect of a bird’s eye view of Old Trafford.

And why stop there? Introduction To Groundskeeping? Level Two Mascotting? Intermediate Coaching?

Ferdinand names ‘massively disrespected’ Man Utd star with Red Devils a ‘Championship team’ without him

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Ferdinand names ‘massively disrespected’ Man Utd star with Red Devils a ‘Championship team’ without him

Rio Ferdinand reckons Man Utd captain Bruno Fernandes has been “massively disrespected” during his time at Old Trafford with the Red Devils a “Championship team” without him.

The Red Devils are having a nightmare season in the Premier League with Ruben Amorim’s side currently 15th in the table after 26 matches.

Things have got worse for Man Utd since Amorim’s arrival with the Red Devils winning just four of their 15 Premier League matches under the Portuguese head coach.

Many of his players have been underperforming but one player who has remained largely consistent is Fernandes with Amorim’s compatriot contributing nine goals and 11 assists in 36 matches in all competitions.

And Ferdinand feels sorry for Fernandes as he thinks the Man Utd midfielder is one of the very few players who is doing their job this season.

Ferdinand said on his YouTube channel: “Bruno is massively disrespected. All this talk of him not being captain material and trying to look for negatives in his game.

“Since he’s come, 28 goals, 18 assists in his first season, that’s 46 goal involvements. Ten goals and 13 assists in his second season. Third season, 14 goals, 13 assists. He’s got ten now and 12 assists.

“That says to me and it’s screaming one thing: consistency, output. This is what this guy brings and delivers.

“Some of the things he gets called out for, his body language etcetera… yeah, there could be improvements there, but that is borne out of frustration, that’s borne out of not being helped.

“That’s borne out of, ‘You know what? I’m f***ing doing my job here, look at the stats!’

“No player has created more chances since he signed for Manchester United in the Premier League, by the way. Not Kevin De Bruyne, nobody. He’s created more chances than anybody since he signed.

“If you’re putting a human touch on that, you would be frustrated, you would be p***ed off that the club are signing players that haven’t been able to deliver.”

Ferdinand added: “One of the things that he gets criticised for, and I understand why he does, but you’ve got to look at the reasons why he’s doing what he’s doing.

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“Sometimes you see him going to the full-back trying to get the ball, sometimes you see him going to the centre-half trying to get the ball, then you see him going up front and getting on the box and trying to do crazy things.

“That’s frustration because he [another player] hasn’t been able to do what he should be doing: I know what he’s being asked to do and he’s not doing it so you get out the way, holding midfielders, and I’ll show you what to do. That’s what he’s doing.

“If other people are doing their jobs, I don’t then need to go there and try and show you how to do your job.

“That’s what Bruno has ended up doing and that’s why people are always saying he’s out of position. I actually feel sorry for him in a sense.”

Speaking about their performance in a 2-2 draw against Everton, Ferdinand continued: “I think they’re a Championship team when he doesn’t play, division one team sometimes when you look at them.

“They’re lacking confidence, they’re getting overrun a lot of the time, they get bullied sometimes.

“You look at them in the first 45 minutes, especially, against Everton and they were second to every ball almost and for the second goal they were outrun.

“Even the first goal from the set-piece, they’ve had five or six opportunities to get the ball cleared and not getting to it.

“You can say luck but it happens too often to be just luck. Who is going to dominate and just get the ball and clear it?

“You look at Everton and it’s a different project altogether. David Moyes has gone there and they’re flying now. The main thing it’s off the back of is graft.

“Those players are going out there and grafting. If the Manchester United players can start with that then those fans who travel and pay their money will be on side.”

“He won’t give up a penny”: stubborn United star holding club to ransom, is a huge problem for Ineos – report

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“He won’t give up a penny”: stubborn United star holding club to ransom, is a huge problem for Ineos – report

Casemiro’s demand that any suitor match his mega £350,000-per-week wages at Manchester United is reportedly hindering a transfer from taking place.

United are believed to be keen on offloading Casemiro, as Sir Jim Ratcliffe and INEOS go about slashing operational costs and returning the club to profitability.

The midfielder has fallen out of favour under Ruben Amorim and in the few games he’s recently played as a result of the injury crisis affecting the team, has failed to justify his selection.

There was speculation during the January transfer window that Saudi Pro League outfit Al Nassr were keen on signing him but a deal never got over the line.

A report covered by The Peoples Person claimed that Besiktas were also keen on him. Flamengo is another club mentioned to be admirers of the 33-year-old but nothing has materialised.

Earlier this month, Casemiro insisted he has no intention of leaving United before his contract expires. However, the Red Devils are believed to still be determined to part ways with him this summer.

However, Ruben Amorim’s side could be left bitterly disappointed if a new report, outlining Casemiro’s stance on a wage cut, is to be believed.

According to TEAMtalk, it’s “increasingly likely” that Casemiro will remain at Old Trafford until 2026 when his terms run out.

TEAMtalk confirm that outfits from Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Brazil have all asked about Casemiro but no team has yet to show any concrete interest in him, as he is unwilling to budge on his “very high” salary demands.

Sources told the news outlet that Casemiro “won’t give up a penny” of his salary, meaning suitors must pay him the £350,000 per week he currently nets at United.

Rudy Galetti adds that United “have never lowered their demands” on their valuation of the five-time Champions League winner. His price still stands at €30m (£25m) – a sum viewed as excessive.

Saudi clubs are leaning towards biding their team, in the hope that they can secure Casemiro’s services in 2026 as a free agent.

The only way that a move happens this summer is if either United reduce their asking price or Casemiro agrees to a pay cut. Another option is sanctioning a loan exit, with the Premier League giants covering a portion of his wages.

Featured image Michael Regan via Getty Images

Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Derick Kinoti is a football writer at The Peoples Person who has covered Manchester United and the game extensively for many years. He is a keen analyst with expertise in SEO and journalism standards. Derick is convinced Wayne Rooney is the true GOAT and won’t hear otherwise!

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