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“Stunned at his potential”: This “lightning fast, imposing” star will bring United instant glory next season – opinion

Manchester United must go out and sign an authentic superstar striker and they should look no further than Victor Osimhen.

The Red Devils have prioritised the signing of a striker this summer and with good reason.

The vacancy

Rasmus Hojlund finally broke his 21 match drought on Sunday against Leicester City but he has shown time and time again that he is not yet ready to lead the line for United.

Furthermore, Chido Obi looks a very exciting talent and will surely get more chances this season but if United are to seriously progress next season, they need a forward to come in and take the pressure off of these two younger players.

In addition, Joshua Zirkzee has excelled recently in one of the number 10 positions behind the striker, so it seems the club have lost a bit of depth in the striking department.

To attract the player and most likely to afford him, Champions League football is almost certainly required. That is an impossible feat in the league this year but with United making it to the quarter-final of the Europa League, the dream stills flickers.

The biggest reason why Osimhen should be pursued is United need the fear factor to return. The Red Devils have big ambitions with the recent announcement of the club intending to build an imposing 100,000 seater stadium in just five years.

The club has always historically been all about scoring goals and they have lost this reputation over the last few years.

In recent years Wayne Rooney, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Cristiano Ronaldo and Robin van Persie were strikers who struck fear into the opposition. Even during the more recent, less successful era, Edinson Cavani and Zlatan Ibrahimovic gave United that presence up front.

Maybe one day Obi will get there but Osimhen would bring a strong reputation as one of the most-feared goal-getters in modern football.

The perfect fit

Osimhen would also be an excellent fit in terms of experience. As previously mentioned, Hojlund at 22 and Obi at 17 are far from the finished product. Osimhen on the other hand is 25 and is the perfect blend of experience but with his best years still ahead of him.

The team will lose even more experience in the summer window and they will likely target younger players for numerous positions, so at least the number nine role should add experience to a rather raw group of attackers of Amad, Patrick Dorgu, Zirkzee, Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho.

What’s more, Osimhen suits Ruben Amorim’s needs for a striker in a 3-4-3 as he is a pure, athletic goalscorer.

He has hit double figures in the last seven consecutive seasons and his biggest success came in 2022-2023 when his 31 goals were vital in firing SSC Napoli to the Serie A title.

The Nigerian is well on course to beat that tally this year as he has already scored 26 goals for Galatasaray in their pursuit of the Turkish Super Lig.

He has been described as “a very athletic, fast and imposing striker that combines lightning fast turn of pace when he gets going in long distances.”

Therefore, he would not only give United a presence in the box but he would also be a threat on the counter in bigger matches.

His former boss at Napoli Luciano Spalletti asserted, “Osimhen is such a great striker. I am stunned by the potential he has and excited to see what he’ll do in future. He has the pace, the skill, the courage and physicality to deal with any situation.”

Creative players like Bruno Fernandes and Amad would very much enjoy having a predatory striker whose only ambition is to find the back of the net.

Finally, the player appears to be open to the move. He is certainly leaving Napoli this summer and he is only on loan in Turkiye. There have been reports that he is keen on the Premier League and would be open to a move to Old Trafford.

Not many defences would relish the thought of Osimhen, Amad, Fernandes and Garnacho bearing down on their penalty box as United strive to get back to what they once were under Amorim.

Featured image Ahmad Mora via Getty Images


Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Alex is a huge Manchester United fan, inspired by greats of his homeland such as George Best, Harry Gregg and Norman Whiteside. Proud owner of such niche shirts such as Kleberson, Eric Djemba-Djemba and Gary Neville. Grew up pretending to be Ruud van Nistelrooy and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the back garden, with little success.

More transfer heartache for Amorim as PL star coveted by United “close to” Liverpool move – report

Manchester United target Joao Gomes is reportedly close to a move to arch-rivals Liverpool.

The Red Devils are looking to strengthen their midfield with the likely departure of Christian Eriksen in the summer.

The future is also uncertain for players such as Casemiro and Kobbie Mainoo.

One player the Red Devils were linked to last summer before completing a deal for Manuel Ugarte was Joao Gomes at Wolverhampton Wanderers.

Despite signing the Uruguay international, it was reported in January that United were indeed back in the hunt for the Premier League midfielder.

Nonetheless, Brazilian outlet Gazeta do Urubu report that the player is being more firmly pursued by United’s great rivals Liverpool at the moment.

“João Gomes is close to Liverpool and Flamengo could receive a huge amount” for their former midfielder.

The 24 year old “has shown great performance in the Premier League, arousing the interest of European football giants.”

“Currently, Liverpool are the main interested party in signing the midfielder, but other clubs, such as Manchester United and Italian teams, are also monitoring the situation.”

It is reported that a move is likely to take place this summer after the conclusion of the domestic season in England.

Any such deal would be expected to arrive to €38 million and the Brazilian side would be entitled to receiving around 14% of any such fee.

Wolverhampton are said to be “fully aware of the player’s value and will only accept negotiations within the stipulated values” as they seek to drive up the price for their star midfielder.

Featured image Naomi Baker via Getty Images


Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

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Alex is a huge Manchester United fan, inspired by greats of his homeland such as George Best, Harry Gregg and Norman Whiteside. Proud owner of such niche shirts such as Kleberson, Eric Djemba-Djemba and Gary Neville. Grew up pretending to be Ruud van Nistelrooy and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the back garden, with little success.

Match preview: Aston Villa v United Women

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Wednesday 19 March 2025 10:22

Marc Skinner’s side are aiming to get back to winning ways in the Women’s Super League, when we travel to Aston Villa on Sunday.

The Reds were beaten 3-1 by Liverpool at Anfield last time out, bringing a seven-match winning run in the division to an end.

United still sit four points clear of Manchester City in third and will be looking to consolidate our position in the Champions League places at Villa Park.

Here’s what you need to know ahead of the clash with the Midlanders…

HOW TO WATCH AND FOLLOW

Sunday’s game kicks off at 16:30 GMT and is being broadcast live on Sky Sports Main Event and Sky Sports Football.

We’ll have people on the ground covering the action live, in the United App and on ManUtd.com and you’ll be able to watch highlights across our platforms from midday on Monday.

TEAM NEWS

Jayde Riviere and Elisabeth Terland returned to the starting line-up at Liverpool after missing our Adobe Women’s FA Cup quarter-final victory over Sunderland, but Simi Awujo was once again missing.

We may receive more of an update from Skinner when he holds his pre-match press conference on Friday morning.

Former United midfielder Lucy Staniforth has been ruled out for the remainder of Villa’s season, while Rachel Corsie and Sarah Mayling have also been injured. Maz Pacheco returned to action as a substitute at Crystal Palace, following a two-month injury lay-off.

FORM GUIDE

Our reverse on Merseyside marked the first time we’ve dropped points in the league since 24 November and brought an end to three straight wins on the road.

With six games to play, and the final three coming against Chelsea, Arsenal and City, it’s probably imperative that we pick up points at Villa this weekend.

The 11th-placed hosts have lost four in a row in the division and Crystal Palace are breathing down their necks in the relegation battle after winning 3-1 at the VBS Community Stadium last Sunday.

Villa’s two victories this term have come at home, while they did hold us to a goalless draw at Leigh in the autumn. They have changed their manager since then, with Natalia Arroyo replacing Robert de Pauw, after Shaun Goater’s interim spell.

RIVALS WATCH

SATURDAY 22 MARCH

Everton v Crystal Palace (14:00 GMT)
Arsenal v Liverpool (17:30 GMT)

SUNDAY 23 MARCH

West Ham v Tottenham (12:00 GMT)
Manchester City v Chelsea (14:30 GMT)
Leicester v Brighton (15:00 GMT)
Aston Villa v UNITED (16:30 GMT)

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Wednesday 19 March 2025 10:22

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Man Utd star faces ‘a big issue’ over agreeing Red Devils exit as PSG, Bayern claim is made

Man Utd midfielder Kobbie Mainoo faces “a big issue” over potentially leaving Old Trafford in the summer transfer window, according to a financial expert.

The Red Devils academy graduate has been one of the bright sparks for Man Utd over the last couple of seasons after breaking into the first-team squad during Erik ten Hag’s tenure at the club.

Ruben Amorim has used him further forward at times during his spell in charge of the Red Devils and has been impressed by certain aspects of the 19-year-old’s game.

However, Mainoo is demanding £150,000 a week in order to renew his contract, which goes over and above what Sir Jim Ratcliffe is prepared to pay the youngster.

It has been claimed recently that Ratcliffe has ‘declared war’ with his contract policy recently with Mainoo set to be one of the first casualties.

There are rumours that Man Utd will now sell Mainoo in the summer transfer window after it became clear that they could struggle to tie him down to a new contract.

But former Man City financial adviser Stefan Borson reckons Mainoo could struggle to find a new club capable of paying £40-50m for the Man Utd starlet.

Borson told Football Insider: “He’s a valuable player from a PSR perspective because it goes straight to the bottom line and it’s close to pure profit from a PSR perspective.

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“But you’ve got to replace that player and it sounds like his wages at the moment are manageable.

“Clearly, if you buy a player, the chances are the wages will be higher and you will have a transfer fee to amortise over the lifetime of that contract, so it can be a false economy.

“Really what you end up doing is taking an immediate profit but then spreading the cost over the next five years, so I don’t think the Mainoo sale will be driven by PSR. I think they’ll have a look at whether the player is considered good enough.

“I think there’s a big issue as to where he’s going to go abroad. I don’t really see that. No league in the world can outpay what the Premier League would pay, so I think if he’s going to go, the likelihood is he stays in the Premier League somewhere.

“We know Chelsea have expressed interest. I would think if he does leave United, which I think he probably won’t, then he’ll stay in the Premier League. Otherwise, you’d really question who in European football has got the money to pay £40-50million for him.

“I can’t see it. You are talking about Bayern Munich and PSG. It’s hard to think of anybody else that would be interested and could actually do the deal.

“It’s not that teams wouldn’t be interested, but in terms of being able to do the deal, it feels like probably just those two teams.”

“Non-negotiable”: Architect makes critical commitment to preserving key aspect of Old Trafford in new build

The architecture firm responsible for building the new Old Trafford have claimed that they are committed to maintaining the history of the club in spite of building a new stadium.

It was announced last week that United had finally decided to build a new ground instead of refurbishing the current Old Trafford.

Patrick Campbell, an architect at Foster + Partners, spoke to the club’s official website to go into more detail about the proposed building of a new 100,000 seater arena.

Commenting on what instructions the firm received from United he claimed, “the big challenge we got from Sir Jim Ratcliffe was the idea of generating the finest football stadium in the world. Football-first, all about atmosphere, fan experience, making this the best stadium in the world to come to.”

He mentioned aspects such as proximity to the pitch, steepness of the stands and the acoustics as all major considerations that have been taken into account.

The architect also asserted that the goal is that United can continue to play at the existing Old Trafford right up until the new stadium is built so consequently, “we’re locating the new stadium broadly in the middle of the Bridgewater Canal and the railway line, just to the west of the existing stadium.”

He also assured fans that the stadium would be a “football first” ground, so there will be no retractable pitch as they want to ensure that the grass is always of the highest quality.

It was also stressed in the interview that they want the new ground to feel like a natural evolution of Old Trafford so they need to “find a space and continue that heritage of the stadium.”

When pushed further on this he claimed, “a lot of communication that happened at the beginning of this process was about what are the most important things and lots and lots of feedback, ideas and conversations.”

The company want to hold further discussions with community groups and fan groups about what aspects of the club’s heritage need to be brought to the new stadium.

When asked about the iconic Munich clock which commemorates those lost in the 1958 air disaster he stated, “we were honoured and privileged to be at the recent memorial. It’s so powerful. It’s so important and it’s non-negotiable. That has to play such an important part in the design of how this all comes forward. We want to work with fans to understand what the important pieces are and what’s the best way of continuing that beautiful story of the history and making sure we can continue to honour those memories.”

The Trinity statue of George Best, Denis Law and Bobby Charlton was also discussed and Campbell stated that they have a location in mind for the tribute to three of the club’s greatest players.

“That’s 450 metres of tree-lined, activated — museums, shops, bars, hotels, entertainment — route, which links to the route coming from the cricket ground and Wharfside. So that’s maybe where we put the Trinity Statue, so that just as today, it faces towards and honours the stadium.”

Featured image Carl Recine via Getty Images


Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Alex is a huge Manchester United fan, inspired by greats of his homeland such as George Best, Harry Gregg and Norman Whiteside. Proud owner of such niche shirts such as Kleberson, Eric Djemba-Djemba and Gary Neville. Grew up pretending to be Ruud van Nistelrooy and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the back garden, with little success.

United to play Leeds in Stockholm

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by

Communications Department

Wednesday 19 March 2025 09:00

Manchester United will take on Leeds United in Stockholm on Saturday 19 July in the opening fixture of the club’s preparations for the men’s 2025/26 season.

The fixture, which kicks off at 15:00 CET (14:00 BST), sees United return to Strawberry Arena – formerly known as the Friends Arena – for the first time since the 2017 UEFA Europa League final, when United beat Ajax 2-0 to lift the trophy for the first time in the club’s history.

United has a rich connection with Sweden, as three of our players have captained the national side during their career.

The first was Henrik Larsson, who won the Premier League with United while on loan in 2007, followed by Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who was also part of that Europa League-winning squad in 2017. Victor Lindelof is Sweden’s current captain.

In addition, Old Trafford has been home to three other Swedes – 1999 Treble winner Jesper Blomqvist, plus Academy alumni Anthony Elanga and Bojan Djordjic.

The fixtures between United and Leeds are traditionally exciting, with 26 goals coming in the past six Premier League meetings.

Daniel Farke’s side currently sit top of the Championship table and will hope to resume the famous trans-Pennine rivalry in the Premier League next season.

United last played Leeds in the summer of 2023, also in a pre-season friendly in Scandinavia. United won 2-0 in the Norwegian capital Oslo, with the goals coming from Noam Emeran and Joe Hugill.

The club’s most recent visit to Sweden for pre-season preparations came in 2016, with Galatasaray the opponents in Gothenburg. The match marked the debut for Ibrahimovic, who scored a trademark bicycle kick in the fourth minute.

Ibrahimovic would go on to be United’s top scorer that season, helping United win both the EFL Cup and Europa League.

HOW TO BUY TICKETS

Pre-sale tickets are available for this fixture from 09:00 GMT (10:00 CET) on Wednesday.

The general sale window opens on Friday 21 March at 09:00 GMT (10:00 CET) and can be accessed here.

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by

Communications Department

Wednesday 19 March 2025 09:00

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Man Utd news: Liverpool and United’s £50million target makes Real Madrid transfer admission

Liverpool and Manchester United target Dean Huijsen has opened up about his future amid growing speculation at Bournemouth.

Having earned rave reviews following his brilliant debut campaign in England, after moving from Juventus, he has top clubs lying in wait to sign him despite being just 19.

His performances have been one of the key cornerstones of Bournemouth’s success under Andoni Iraola this season and Huijsen has formed a strong partnership with Ukrainian defender Illia Zabarnyi, another strong signing from the club’s recent history.

Given his standout form, Huijsen has attracted attention from the elite clubs in Europe, including Liverpool and Man United, who have both been credited with an interest with one report claiming the transfer ‘battle has begun’.

Plus, with a supposed release clause of £50million, there will be a list of admirers eyeing up such a fee for what looks to be one of Europe’s best young defenders.

However, despite interest from England, the powerhouse of football in Europe could well swoop in and secure his signature; Real Madrid reportedly have the Spanish defender high on their list and his recent comments in an interview with Relevo hint at a love for Los Blancos.

“My idol is Sergio Ramos, he’s a reference. For me, he’s the best CB in history. He has everything, he’s a legend”, told Relevo. 

“It’s an honor when you hear about Real Madrid interest, I’m proud to have such a big club interested in me. It’s special for sure”.

According to a report in MARCA, Huijsen is said to be the ‘leading candidate’ but there are a number of other names on their list that include Ajax’s Jorrel Hato, Liverpool’s Ibrahima Konate, RB Leipzig’s Castello Lukeba, and Arsenal’s William Saliba.

With his position at Bournemouth, they believe a deal could be done more easily than any of their other targets and, despite initial contact between Madrid and the player’s camp not yielding immediate results, the club’s growing admiration for Huijsen has reignited their interest, and his recent international call-up at 19 further rubberstamped his credentials.

Interest from Premier League clubs

For United, there could be up to six departures this summer with free agents and wantaway figures finally moving on after years at the club. In a defensive aspect, Victor Lindelof looks set to depart which should open room at centre-back.

With Lisandro Martinez set to be out of action for an extended period, it would leave Leny Yoro, Harry Maguire and Matthijs de Ligt as their only options at the back, which could be an issue given Ruben Amorim’s fixation on a back three.

That could be why they are in the market for a defender this summer and Huijsen hailed the Liverpool skipper as the best in the world in his interview. “There are some very good center-backs in the world, like Van Dijk, who I think is the best right now.”

The battle for Huijsen’s signature very much depends on Madrid who are eyeing up a defender for the future and present to play alongside Antonio Rudiger, David Alaba, Eder Militao and the rising Raul Asensio, having seen their backline decimated by injuries in recent times.

Blistering pace, brutal strength, bags of goals: this PL-proven attacking wrecking ball will transform United – opinion

It’s no secret that Manchester United will be looking to strengthen their squad this summer. While signing a striker remains the top priority, adding depth to Ruben Amorim’s right-side attacking options is also high on the agenda.

Amad, Diogo Dalot, and Noussair Mazraoui have been Ruben Amorim’s preferred options to patrol the right side of the team. Amad has been a revelation this campaign, excelling both as a right-wing-back and in the number 10 role. However, United’s heavy reliance on him was brutally exposed once he sustained a season-ending injury.

Then there’s Dalot, whose long-term suitability remains in question. While his availability over the past two seasons has been a major plus for United, he has yet to prove he can be a reliable mainstay at right-wing-back. Solid defensively, his attacking contributions often fall short of what’s needed.

Meanwhile, Mazraoui has had a much greater impact as part of Amorim’s three-man defence. In recent games, Alejandro Garnacho has been deployed as the right-sided No. 10, but given that he has spent most of his career on the opposite flank, it’s hardly a natural fit for him.

It’s clear to see that United need to bolster their right-sided options and it seemed like they had the perfect target in Sporting CP’s Geovany Quenda – a player Amorim knows well from his time at Estádio José Alvalade.

United were seen as frontrunners to sign the highly-rated Quenda this summer, but Chelsea swooped in unexpectedly, hijacking the deal and securing his services in a swift, under-the-radar move that left Amorim’s side completely blindsided.

Quenda is set to remain at Sporting for another season before joining Chelsea in 2026. The teenager is believed to have signed a seven-year contract with the Stamford Bridge outfit. Quenda was widely regarded as the ideal right-wing-back for United and the perfect complement to Amad, but that vision is now nothing more than a distant dream. So, who should United set their sights on next? Bryan Mbeumo.

Already, the Red Devils have been linked to Mbeumo, whose terms at Brentford expire in 2026, although his employers retain the option of extending them by an additional 12 months.

Mbeumo is having a stellar season, with Brentford currently 10th in the Premier League on 41 points—four ahead of United in 13th. He has featured in all 29 of Brentford’s league games so far, scoring a career-high 15 goals and providing five assists. To put into context how crucial he has been for the club, Mbeumo’s goals account for 30% of Brentford’s total output this season.

Ivan Toney’s departure for Saudi Arabia left question marks over Brentford’s source of goals but those doubts have been swiftly answered by Mbeumo.

In addition to his eye for goal, the Cameroon international is extremely versatile – an attribute that would make him a valuable addition at Old Trafford under Amorim.

In Thomas Frank’s occasional 5-3-2 setup, Mbeumo operates as one of the two forwards alongside his strike partner Yoane Wissa. With the wing-backs providing width, Mbeumo drifts into narrower positions, constantly looking for goal-scoring opportunities.

The demands of this role closely mirror what Amorim expects from his number 10s, making it a perfect fit for Mbeumo. If deployed in that position, it would allow Amad to shift to a wing-back role, adding greater dynamism and attacking threat to United’s right side.

However, Mbeumo is also highly effective on the right wing, where he thrives by cutting inside onto his lethal left foot to cross or shoot. He could replicate this same threat as a right-wing-back in a United shirt. His versatility to play both as a number 10 and a right-wing-back, potentially interchanging with Amad, would significantly enhance United’s attacking fluidity and unpredictability.

An added bonus is Mbeumo’s ability to play as a striker when needed – a role he has effectively taken on for Brentford alongside Wissa on multiple occasions.

The 25-year-old also possesses blistering pace, allowing him to zoom past opponents and transition quickly from defence to attack – a crucial asset for a team like United which thrives in transitions and fast breaks. His acceleration and top speed make him a constant menace for defenders.

Despite his stocky frame, Mbeumo displays impressive agility on the ball, effortlessly weaving past challenges before darting into space. Mbeumo’s speed and direct attacking style add an extra edge to Brentford’s offensive play, making their attacks even more dangerous. United have often been criticised in recent months for their sluggish and passive attacking play. Adding a player of Mbeumo’s qualities would inject much-needed pace and urgency, transforming their offensive approach.

At 25, Mbeumo possesses a deep understanding of the game, showing maturity beyond his years. The Avallon-born footballer constantly scans for space, seeking opportunities to challenge the opposition. Another standout aspect of his game is his exceptional stamina and relentless work rate. He tirelessly presses from the front, tracks back, and contributes defensively.

For United, few alternatives to Quenda will be as ideal as Mbeumo. It massively helps that the Cameroonian is already Premier League-proven, meaning he won’t need time to adapt compared to a player arriving from a foreign division.

It has been suggested that Brentford want £50 million to sanction Mbeumo’s sale in the upcoming window. Whether United see this as a fair valuation and decide to launch a push to bring him to the Theatre of Dreams remains to be seen.

What is clear is that United need a player of his standard and the forward is more than ready to take the next big step in his career. It’s a perfect match and he can’t be allowed to slip through the cracks or even worse, fall into the hands of a rival.

Perhaps his fellow countryman, Andre Onana, could have a word with him and help sway him toward United.

Feature image Michael Regan via Getty Images


Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social

Derick Kinoti is a football writer at The Peoples Person who has covered Manchester United and the game extensively for many years. He is a keen analyst with expertise in SEO and journalism standards. Derick is convinced Wayne Rooney is the true GOAT and won’t hear otherwise!

Man Utd: Bruno Fernandes ‘accepts’ Roy Keane slam for one reason in response to ‘f***ing imposter’ blast

Manchester United captain Bruno Fernandes has responded to Roy Keane after the pundit said he was the leading “f***ing imposter” in Ruben Amorim’s side.

Last month, Keane slammed Fernandes in an extraordinary rant, labelling Man Utd’s captain the standout “f***ing imposter” in the 2024/25 squad.

The 24/25 campaign has been miserable for the Red Devils as they have languished in the bottom half of the table for most of the season.

No more than a handful of Man Utd’s stars can hold their heads high for their performances this season, but Fernandes has comfortably been their best player as he’s saved his underperforming teammates on several occasions.

READ: Man Utd remain effective at dealing with the worst the Premier League has to offer, if nothing else

Fernandes contributed a goal and two assists in Man Utd’s 3-0 victory at Leicester City on Sunday night. This takes his tally for the season to 16 goals and 15 assists in 44 appearances across all competitions.

Speaking post-match, Fernandes responded to Keane’s recent comments and admitted there are “margins for improvement” in his game.

“I think both. Obviously, it is not nice to hear bad things about you; no-one likes it,” Fernandes said on Sky Sports when asked whether criticism from the media/supporters hurts him or motivates him.

“But at the same time, it motivates you and makes you think about a lot of things that people think you have to improve and you have to take it in a positive way, understanding that whatever people are saying and if there is a margin to improve or not.”

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The reporter did not name Keane, but Fernandes brought up the Man Utd legend. He continued: “Obviously, I know you are talking about Roy Keane.

“As I have said before, I have a huge respect for Roy Keane. I think he is one of the best captains the club has had and he was an amazing player for the club.

“It is the way he thinks, the idea he has about me as a player, as a captain, and I have to respect that. I do things in my own way to try to be the best, not captain, but person and teammate as I can.

“I do it every day and try to be an example of everything I do in a training session, on the pitch and in everything I do, but obviously not everyone will like [it], not everyone will think in the same way, and I respect every opinion of everyone.

“And as I have said, I have huge respect for Roy Keane and I accept that there are a lot of margins for improvement in my game, in my leadership, in everything I do, even in my own life.”

He added: “I want to score many goals as I can as it’s a big part of my game and I need to assist my teammates. I need to get on to the edge of the box and get goals as it is one of my qualities.”

Man Utd ‘oil tanker turning’ and ‘season changing’…all the way up to 13th

There’s some Man Utd giddiness in the media after the Reds beat one of the worst teams in the Premier League.

Full kit tanker
Mediawatch had to double-check the Premier League table on Monday morning and confirm that yes, Manchester United are still in 13th, a full 11 points away from a likely Champions League qualification place.

Because, well, this confused us in the Daily Telegraph:

‘Manchester United oil tanker may finally be turning’

Which is one hell of a way to report a 3-0 win over one of the worst teams in Premier League history who have now lost six straight Premier League games without scoring a single goal.

Even this massive, creaking Manchester United oil tanker surely could not run aground in the calm blue, welcoming seas of Leicester City.

‘Manchester United’s supporters noisily insist Ruben Amorim will bring the glory days again and, finally, it does appear that this giant oil tanker is creaking into life,’ writes John Percy.

‘The chant for Amorim echoed around King Power Stadium for long periods as United won consecutive league games for the first time this season, with Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho both ending their long waits for goals.’

Pesky fact: Manchester United have not won consecutive league games all season; they drew 1-1 with Arsenal in their last Premier League fixture.

Another pesky fact: Manchester United are 13th in the Premier League form table having literally only triumphed over two relegation-bound teams over the last six games.

Other than that, United are back, back and obviously and clearly back. Whoop.

When is a defeat actually a draw?
Mediawatch understands the desperation for Manchester United to be remotely good again but this from David McDonnell in the Daily Mirror is a reach…

‘United extended their unbeaten run to seven games in all competitions, with Fernandes providing two assists and scoring the third to move Amorim’s side up to 13th.’

Technically, they might be unbeaten in seven; but call us old-fashioned but we suspect Fulham consider themselves the actual winners of the FA Cup clash between the two clubs two weeks ago. After all, ‘winning’ the penalty shoot-out earned them a place in the next round. That’s a pretty big clue.

Oddly, David McDonnell of the Daily Mirror also considered this a Manchester United defeat when he wrote on March 2: ‘Amorim has now lost 10 of his 25 games in charge, a dismal return for a man who arrived as one of the brightest young managers in Europe, but who has seen that status wrecked by the reputation-wrecker that is the modern-day United.’

Just two weeks later it has magically become just one of seven matches in an ‘unbeaten run’.

It’s not the Manchester United oil tanker that is turning but the Manchester United media…

The times they are a…
Talking of the Manchester United media, the propaganda machine that is the Manchester Evening News brings us this…

‘What Manchester United staff did after Rasmus Hojlund scored shows how their season is changing’

‘Their season is changing so much’ that they are now up to 13th for the first time since early February. Whoop.

And what did the ‘Manchester United staff’ do?

‘Some of the United staff members broke press box etiquette and celebrated more wildly than when Amad won the FA Cup quarter-final against Liverpool a year ago.’

What you’re describing there, guys, is pure desperation and relief. Maybe change ‘season’ for ‘club’ and it works.

Statistics and sh*t
Forgive Mediawatch for the self-indulgent geekery for a second but this particular brand of lazy-arsed shite sets our teeth on edge…

‘How 11th place in the Premier League could get into Europe thanks to Newcastle’s Carabao Cup win’

Firstly, 11th place could pretty much always get into Europe this season; it just takes a peculiar and largely ludicrous set of circumstances to happen.

Secondly, if anything this scenario gets more fantastical now Newcastle have won the Carabao Cup final as they are far, far more likely to need their Conference League place than Liverpool ever were.

But congratulations to The Sun for seeing this tweet…

The Premier League outline a scenario where the ELEVENTH-placed team could qualify for Europe this season.😮 pic.twitter.com/41t9N61jed

— Ben Jacobs (@JacobsBen) March 16, 2025

…and somehow getting entirely the wrong end of the stick.

Oh and we feel duty-bound to point out that Newcastle do not have to finish in the top five for this scenario to happen. But let’s face it, it’s just about the least unlikely part of a ridiculous equation.

The headline – if there really must be one – should read: ‘How 11th place in the Premier League could get into Europe thanks to an almost impossible set of circumstances.’

Villa winning the Champions League? Sure, that could happen. Man United in the top half? No f***ing chance.

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