“The inferences that people will draw from this game are not important to me because they could be misleading,” said Ruben Amorim, between dodging a tantrum from Gary Cotterill and making a quip about Sir Alex Ferguson that too many people took too seriously.

What did we learn? That a Manchester City ranked as the very best in Europe – even when missing several key players through injury – can dominate a football match against a Sporting team ranked 34th? And still make an absolute bollocks of it.

That a Manchester City squad that cost the thick end of a billion quid to put together is capable of controlling the ball against one built for a sixth of the cost, but are also increasingly capable of shooting themselves squarely between the toes? And then reloading and doing it again.

Realistically, we also learned that turning a match into a memorial to a departing hero is not conducive to the mourners starting the game with any kind of pace; Sporting were 1-0 down within four minutes and City danced through them with ease during a first half in which Amorim’s now-famous back three was very much a five and often a seven.

For about 37 minutes we also thought we had learned that Viktor Gyokeres is really Not All That, despite being the top scorer in 2024 across Europe. He made an utter mess of a one-on-one chance by lobbing the ball kindly into the hands of a very grateful Ederson, before being dispossessed by a 19-year-old debutant.

But Gyokeres is clearly not a man to make the same mistake twice, and his second chance was driven awkwardly but effectively into the ground and over the head of the now-less-grateful Ederson. By the time he added a confident second from the penalty spot, Maximiliano Araújo had made it 2-1 within seconds of the start of the second half. Now it was 3-1 and City were reeling.

This is how we expected Amorim’s Sporting to play: with pace, with aggression, with intensity. And the inevitable inference will be that Amorim’s half-time team talk was the catalyst for a complete gear change. He invited the Sir Alex comparisons with a smile on his face, but the English media will pick up and run with that concept like Gyokeres charging down on the City goal.

Amorim could not possibly have dreamed that City would self-combust quite so spectacularly, giving away two ludicrous penalties either side of Manchester City missing their own through an out-of-sorts Erling Haaland.

How much of this remarkable result was down to the genius of Amorim and how much to the fallibility of a Rodri-less Manchester City will be lost in the giddiness of Sporting beating Manchester City by a barely believable scoreline. And it’s tricky not to get caught up in the compelling narrative.

It’s difficult to extrapolate any meaningful conclusions about Amorim as a Manchester United manager from this result because he will never be in this position again: As the departing manager of champions against a City side that were a defensive car crash. Emotion careered headlong into naivety and the explosion could be heard across Europe.

What we can comfortably conclude is that Amorim will not be in charge of a dull Manchester United team. He will have days when he will make teams as good as City look like complete muppets. He will give shape and purpose to a set of players who have looked lost for far, far too long. He might well turn Rasmus Hojlund into a proper striker.

F*** it, he’s definitely the new Sir Alex Ferguson.

According to a report, former Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag didn’t want the club to sign Joshua Zirkzee in the summer transfer window.

Zirkzee joined Man Utd from Bologna after helping the Serie A side qualify for the Champions League for the first time in their history.

The Dutch international had a £34million release clause in his contract but the Red Devils agreed to pay £36.5m in a more favourable payment structure.

He had a dream debut, scoring off the bench against Fulham to hand Ten Hag’s side a victory on matchday one in the Premier League.

Since then, Zirkzee has failed to score and has looked miles off the pace.

He only had three touches after coming on in the 83rd minute against Chelsea on Sunday and has recorded one shot on target in his last five Premier League appearances.

It has been very difficult for Zirkzee, who is already being linked with a return to Italy amidst reported interest from Juventus. The Old Lady are now managed by the 23-year-old’s boss at Bologna, Thiago Motta.

New Man Utd head coach Ruben Amorim might have a masterplan to bring the best out of Zirkzee just as he has done with Viktor Gyokeres at Sporting, though it has been revealed that the Dutchman was not someone Ten Hag wanted to sign in the summer – presumably because he has never played for Ajax.

Man Utd summer signing reported for work ‘overweight’

According to a pretty wild report from Mediawatch favourite Neil Custis (The Sun), Zirkzee reported for Man Utd duty ‘overweight’ and Ten Hag ‘didn’t want him’.

Custis says Zirkzee reported for his first day ‘out of shape’ and ‘it has taken a while to shift that extra weight’.

This left Ten Hag feeling ‘unhappy as he was not his choice of striker in the first place’.

After playing only two minutes of the Netherlands’ European Championship campaign, Zirkzee ‘took his allotted time off’ (the b**tard) which ‘raised eyebrows among some close to the club’.

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This is because Zirkzee was on holiday in Los Angeles at the time Man Utd were there for a pre-season tour and instead of turning up to work early, he ‘called in only to say hello to his new teammates’.

The former Bologna striker has been heavily criticised for his performances this season. One former manager unimpressed by the Dutchman is Fabio Capello.

“They run, they go faster, they have a different pace (in the Premier League),” Capello said last month.

“Go watch Zirkzee play in the Premier League and tell me if he seems like the same player we admired in Bologna.

“In Italy, he did what he wanted, in England, he doesn’t even have time to think about the play before the ball is stolen from him. More or less the same thing happens to our teams.”

Zirkzee has one goal and two assists in 15 matches across all competitions this season.

Man Utd striker Joshua Zirkzee has been criticised by Ally McCoist for reportedly being “a stone overweight” when he signed for the Red Devils.

The Netherlands international has found it difficult to hit the ground running at Old Trafford following his £36.5m move from Bologna in the summer transfer window.

Zirkzee started off the season in the starting XI under Erik ten Hag before dropping to the bench when Rasmus Hojlund returned to full fitness.

The Man Utd forward has contributed one goal and two assists in 15 appearances so far for the Red Devils with seven of those coming in the starting XI.

A report on Tuesday has claimed that Zirkzee turned up at Man Utd a stone overweight and that Ten Hag – who is set to be succeeded at Old Trafford by Ruben Amorim – didn’t want the Red Devils to sign the striker.

And now former Scotland and Rangers striker McCoist insists that Zirkzee is “bang out of order” if the report about his weight is true.

McCoist said on talkSPORT: “Well, I get it. I don’t know enough about it. I don’t know what his weight is, I don’t know what his weight should be, but if he’s a stone overweight, I’ve got to say it’s bang out of order. I would suggest that’s maybe exaggerating a little bit.

“I don’t think he’s going to turn up a stone overweight with a big transfer fee going to a big club. I would be staggered, if that was the case. One or two pounds perhaps, that he thinks he could lose in the first couple of weeks of training or so, but Jeff, a stone overweight today?”

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There was a report in late October which claimed that Zirkzee was already ‘starting to regret the choice he made last summer’ and that he ‘wants to leave’ Man Utd.

Speaking after Ten Hag was sacked by Man Utd last week, Liverpool legend Jamie Carragher insisted Zirkzee “looks miles off” being good enough for the Red Devils.

Carragher told the Daily Telegraph: “As an outsider looking in, it feels like United are too obsessed with stellar names rather than paying enough attention to their underlying numbers. That is certainly the case with recent player deals.

“Matthijs de Ligt struggled at Juventus and Bayern Munich, so why was there an assumption he would hit the ground running at Old Trafford?

“Manuel Ugarte was a substitute at Paris St-Germain, and I am afraid Joshua Zirkzee looks miles off being a Manchester United player.

“This is not a time for gloating or ‘I told you so’ but it was obvious after the first home game against Fulham this day would come.

“United kicked the can down the road, and the echoes of when Liverpool delayed sacking Brendan Rodgers in October 2015 were obvious.

“Liverpool waited because they knew Jurgen Klopp was available and he was in charge for the next game after Rodgers’s exit.

“If United have almost agreed a deal with Ruben Amorim to be their next head coach, then the timing of Monday’s sacking makes more sense, even if it should have happened three months earlier.”

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