Rasmus Hojlund goes ‘MAD’ as Man Utd coverage goes full Bullseye!

If you are calling that Rasmus Hojlund/Amad Diallo row a ‘furious bust-up’ then you have never lived. Meanwhile, did YOU see Ruben Amorim getting ruthless?

Call that a row?
Any journalist/headline-writer who describes this…

🚨📸 – Rasmus Højlund complaining a lot to Amad Diallo after FT. pic.twitter.com/o9JPAWDdE7

— 𝗔𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗺’𝘀 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝘀 ✍🏼🇵🇹 (@AmorimBalll_) December 12, 2024

…as a ‘furious row’ (The Sun), as Holjund ‘raging’ at Amad (MailOnline), at Hojlund ‘going MAD’ (The Sun), a ‘tense face-off’ (Mirror) or a ‘furious bust-up’ (various) has clearly never been married.

Against all odd
Mediawatch is not remotely surprised that a healthy disagreement between two footballers has been clickified into a full-blown ‘furious row’, or indeed that it has been weaponised after what would otherwise have been a quite unremarkable 2-1 win in the Europa League.

Over to the Mirror, whose headline reads: ‘Rasmus Hojlund makes “odd” Man Utd complaint after furious Amad argument’.

The only part of this sentence that is true is that Hojlund said the word “odd” and it was technically after an argument that the naive would call ‘furious’.

Was it a ‘complaint’? Nope. And was it even remotely connected to the Amad conversation? Was it balls.

This is what Hojlund said: “I know it sounds odd, but we don’t get enough time on the training ground, so we have to train it during the matches. But it’s getting better and better.”

Sounds quite upbeat if anything. And really unbothered by the fact that he was apparently ‘raging’ just a few minutes before. Almost like it’s a right load of old bollocks.

At the Manchester Evening News, they approach from the other angle: ‘Man United star Amad sends message after Rasmus Hojlund row as Ruben Amorim stance emerges.’

And what was his ‘message’ that once again technically came after the Hojlund row?

“A difficult field to play on, but winning was the best thing. We keep going.”

You wouldn’t even be arsed to give that message a thumbs-up if it came on WhatsApp.

MORE MAN UTD COVERAGE ON F365…
👉 Ranking every post-Fergie Man Utd manager’s first signings as Amorim closes in on Leon
👉 Garnacho 5th), Diallo 4th): Man Utd’s ‘unsellable’ seven ranked on how unsellable they *actually* are
👉 Big Weekend: Man City v Man United, Nottingham Forest, Russell Martin, Eberechi Eze

Eye witness
‘I saw Ruben Amorim’s ruthless reaction that helped Manchester United turn defeat into victory’ – Manchester Evening News.

Helpful content indeed, because no other f***er saw Ruben Amorim make any substitutions.

You get nothing in this game for two in a bed
Richard Keys’ blog, December 9: ‘United fans must feel like they’re watching an old episode of Bullseye right – hosted, of course, by Jim Bowen. Do you remember his trademark end to a show when another hapless pair of contestants had f**ked up? ‘Let’s have a look at what you could’ve won’ he would say and the star prize would be wheeled onto the stage so everybody could gloat at their misfortune.

‘Let’s have a look at what United could’ve won if the greedy Glazers had sold the club to my Arab friends here in Qatar. No. On second thoughts, let’s not. It’ll hurt too much and I don’t want to add to the misery of the OT faithful, but surely it’s what every United fan is wondering?’

Mike Keehan, MailOnline, December 11: ‘In the 1980s quiz show Bullseye, contestants would often fall at the final hurdle. Amid sympathetic groans from the audience, a giant dart board would then slowly revolve to reveal the big prize they had agonisingly missed out on.

‘Often it was a shiny new speedboat, or some other distant treasure. ‘Look at what you could have won,’ host Jim Bowen would declare from behind jam-jar lenses.

‘A toned-down version of the jocular theme music would then play as the credits rolled and the unlucky couple were left to reflect on what might have been. For Manchester United supporters, what follows is a journalistic equivalent of the above. Look at what you could have won…’

Three scenarios here.

1) Two middle-aged men had the same thought at the same time. Not unusual. And middle-aged men do like to bang on about Bullseye.

2) Keegan copied Keys.

3) Keegan and Keys had a right old drink-up in the Middle East – where Keegan has spent this week – and he didn’t clock that anything that comes out of Keys’ mouth will end up in Keys’ blog.

Choo-choo. The Qatari PR train is leaving the station again. And these two are sat cosy on a double seat.

Tuchy subject
‘THOMAS TUCHEL will be blocked from going to December’s 2026 World Cup qualifying draw’ – The Sun, October 17.

‘New England manager Thomas Tuchel will not attend the 2026 World Cup qualifying draw next month’ – Mirror, November 5.

‘It is also understood that Tuchel will not attend next month’s World Cup 2026 qualifying draw in Zurich as all parties stick steadfastly to his start date’ – Daily Mail, November 5.

‘Following that draw it is usually the role of the manager to talk about the countries England will face. But presumably, Tuchel, who will not start for another couple of weeks, will not do that. And neither will Carsley who is returning to his head coach role with the Under-21s. A minor detail but optically not great’ – Daily Telegraph, November 14.

And yet here he is, pretty damned brazen from a man supposedly ‘blocked’ from attending…

Thomas Tuchel is here for the @FIFAWorldCup qualifying draw! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 pic.twitter.com/KkYj9aNJN7

— England (@England) December 13, 2024