“More flexibility in an ironing board”: United icon savages current star, picks the perfect player to replace him – exclusive

Iconic Manchester United full-back Paul Parker says the club needs to revamp their full-back roster if they want to mount a serious challenge on the Premier League next season. Speaking on behalf of Spreadex Sports in an exclusive interview with The Peoples Person, Parker had begun by saying that United are not providing Benjamin Sesko with the right kind of service. He went on to say that due to the inverted nature of forwards such as Matheus Cunha and Bryan Mbeumo, United need the full-backs to provide the width and put crosses in for the big Slovenian. But do they have the full-backs to do that? Are United’s full-backs fit for purpose? “Dalot is more bothered about doing an Irish jig on the ball,” Parker laughed, “Even trying to copy his compatriot in Ronaldo and doing stepovers, and they’re absolutely awful. I’ve seen more flexibility in an ironing board with his legs going over.” “Luke Shaw doesn’t get far enough forward because his fitness doesn’t allow him to go up and down. So it’s very, very difficult not having flexible full-backs.” “They need players who can run. I think [Noussair] Mazraoui can do it. Mazraoui is very good in that role. Mazraoui, put him in any position, like at the weekend he did great going in at centre-half.” “But they need a left-back. Some will say [Patrick] Dorgu. I don’t think Dorgu is a left-back.” We asked the World Cup 90 full-back if he believes Dorgu is a winger. “I think so,” he said. “He’s more of a left-midfield player, or play him as a wing-back so he can get forward.” “They need a dynamic left-back. They [also] need a more dynamic right-back, someone who’s willing to get forward …go to the byline, cross the ball, step inside. And that’s what they need, just to kind of to get their play quicker, because everything is slow and deliberate.” Which full-backs should United sign? We asked Parker who he would sign. “Go and get Crystal Palace’s wing-back Munoz,” he said, without hesitation. “They’ve [also] got maybe the best wing-back, left-back in the league – Tyrick Mitchell.” Featured image Ryan Pierse via Getty Images The Peoples Person has been one of the world’s leading Man United news sites for over a decade. Follow us on Bluesky: @peoplesperson.bsky.social Red Billy Red Billy is the managing editor of The Peoples Person, author of three books and two magazines and totally obsessed with football’s transfer market. Billy first saw United live in 1971, watching George Best, Bobby Charlton and Denis Law, before becoming a League Match ticket book holder from 1975/76 and a writer since 1995. Billy still insists Matteo Darmian and Alex Telles could have made it at United given half a chance.