Marcus Rashford has ‘made his feelings clear’ by going to the gym, while a deal has been agreed that may or may not involve him.
Rash decision (part the 427th)
You know Marcus Rashford has pulling power because Marcus Rashford is named in all the headlines; there’s no mystery ‘Man Utd star/ace/outcast’ nonsense going on with Marcus Rashford.
But there is all sorts of other nonsense going on with Marcus Rashford, including this egregious sh*te from the Mirror:
Marcus Rashford makes feelings clear after being banished from Man Utd squad
We’re expecting mischief. We’re expecting a sad face (actual face or emoji). What we’re not expecting is ABSOLUTELY NO INDICATION OF ANY FEELINGS AT ALL.
Rashford has literally – and the Mirror have had to admit this as early as the first paragraph – ‘shown himself training alone at Carrington after being isolated from the rest of the squad’. No accompanying no words. No emojis.
The one thing he absolutely does not do is ‘make his feelings clear’.
And then there’s the clicks to be extracted from suggesting that Rashford has left Manchester United, like this pair of conjoined twins from the Reach stable:
Man Utd transfer news: Marcus Rashford makes big-money decision as ‘deal agreed’ – Mirror.
Marcus Rashford reaches mega money Man Utd transfer decision as ‘contract signed’ – Daily Star.
The answer to the question you are inevitably now asking: Seventeen-year-old defender Godwill Kukonki.
When is a shock not a shock?
‘Jose Mourinho ready to offer Marcus Rashford a shock reunion at Fenerbache as Turkish giants weigh up transfer’ says The Sun.
Who amongst us is ‘shocked’ that Mourinho would want to sign an incredibly talented footballer who played more Manchester United games under him than any other Red?
And that’s even before we take into account the fact that this was a story six days ago.
When is a SHOCK not a shock?
And then there’s…
‘Man Utd transfer news LIVE: Jackson linked with SHOCK move, United ‘get Mbeumo BOOST’, Red Devils ‘open Tolisso talks’’ – The Sun.
We literally reported this six weeks ago. You can use all the capitals you want; we’re really not that easily shocked/SHOCKED.
MORE MAN UTD COVERAGE ON F365…
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Are we nearly there yet?
Arsenal are spending some serious money this summer; they have already spent £75m on three players and have reportedly agreed initial fees for Viktor Gyokeres (£54.8m), Noni Madueke (£48m) and Cristhian Mosquera (£13m). That will take their summer outlay to around £190m. Or ‘spending spree nears £200million’ as The Sun claim.
But what some outlets are desperate to do is claim that Arsenal have spent £200m. Because £200m is fun. Because £200m is a big number.
‘Arsenal are closing in on a deal for Valencia defender Cristhian Mosquera. And that is set to push Arsenal’s summer spending past the £200m mark with SIX players likely to arrive before the Gunners jet off on their pre-season tour of Asia on Saturday, July 19,’ writes John Cross in the Daily Mirror. We know we are supposed to be surprised by SIX because it’s in capitals.
Just wait until he discovers that Brighton, Liverpool and Sunderland have also made SIX, Chelsea have made SEVEN and Burnley have made TEN signings. Almost like that’s not really such a spectacular number.
And it really is only spending ‘past the £200m mark’ if you take into account all of the add-ons which, and this seems important, will only actually be added on at a later date, in certain circumstances.
‘Arsenal are hoping to complete the signing of Cristhian Mosquera from Valencia this week in a deal that could take their summer spending past £200m,’ say The Guardian. Nope. It couldn’t. And when you’re using the word ‘potentially’ twice over the space of your first paragraphs, you’re stretching for that magic £200m mark.
It’s okay, guys; £190m is still a f***load of money.
The magic EIGHT ball
But do you know what’s bigger that SIX? You might be thinking SEVEN but skip SEVEN and let’s get straight to EIGHT.
Mikel Arteta’s stance on EIGHT Arsenal exits after £203m summer spending spree
That’s the Mirror, who definitely know Arteta’s ‘stance’ on EIGHT Arsenal exits.
We will give them Karl Hein, Albert Sambi Lokonga, Fabio Vieira and Reiss Nelson; all were out on loan last season and will be available this summer.
And we will generously include Oleksandr Zinchenko as the Ukrainian does not appear to be part of his plans. But it’s nothing short of idle speculation that ‘a deal for Mosquera could yet see the club allow the Pole (Kiwior) to depart however’. That’s not ‘Mikel Arteta’s stance’; it’s just a word-smash.
Throw in Leandro Trossard and Gabriel Martinelli (‘Arteta is said to value both stars but things could change’) and you magically get to EIGHT. Which makes us think that maybe Arsenal should sign more than SIX.
