Harry Kane has basically joined Manchester United after an ‘Arsenal hijack’. It’s all happening…
Tell me why…
‘Why Manchester United remain confident of Bryan Mbeumo transfer despite Tottenham interest’ – Manchester Evening News.
‘Is it the absolutely massive wages?’ – Mediawatch.
‘Why Man United are ‘confident’ of beating Tottenham to £60m Bryan Mbeumo – despite star talking up Thomas Frank’s influence on him in F1 grid walk interview’ – MailOnline.
‘Is it the absolutely massive wages?’ – Mediawatch.
Manchester citizen Kane?
Of course, the purpose of being a Manchester United writer at the Manchester Evening News is to be upbeat and positive about Manchester United, particularly in the summer when everything feels possible and the yawning pit of despair has not yet claimed every fan.
Well, almost everything feels possible; this may be stretching things a tad:
Man United can finally complete Harry Kane transfer mission with £75m Arsenal hijack
So much to unpick here. We’re fighting the urge to knock out one of those ‘bullsh*t’ coughs, but the salient point is that Sport Central Audience Writer Josh Holland absolutely knows this is nonsense. It’s just a game.
He knows Harry Kane is not leaving Bayern Munich. He knows Manchester United are not signing Harry Kane. He also knows this is not remotely linked with Arsenal, but we suspect he tried and failed to crowbar Liverpool into the headline and eventually settled on the next best thing.
‘Harry Kane’s place in Bayern Munich’s team could be in doubt’ is the first caption. It seems an extreme reaction to Kane’s failure to score in a 10-0 win over some Kiwi amateurs but carry on…
Now 32, Kane has ended his wait for silverware at Bayern with the Bundesliga title. A return to England has been mooted in recent months and while it seems far-fetched to think of Kane walking out at Old Trafford, hear us out.
Hear you out? You genuinely could not drag us away…
According to respected outlet BILD, the German champions hold an interest in RB Leipzig star Benjamin Sesko. It’s said they view the 22-year-old as Kane’s long-term replacement and they could move for him this summer.
Priced at £75m, Sesko is Arsenal’s number one target after bagging 21 goals in spite of a disappointing season for Leipzig. Surprisingly, the report adds that should Sesko be signed, Bayern would bring Kane back into the number 10 role with his tendency to drop deep complimenting that.
Sesko to the Allianz Arena has work to do with Arsenal claiming to ‘hold the upper hand’ but Bayern’s pull in Germany is telling. If a move did materialise, it’s not yet clear whether Kane would be happy with being moving away from centre-forward.
Step forward, Jason Wilcox.
So if we’re following this correctly, Bayern buying Sesko (that’s the ‘Arsenal hijack’) could directly lead to Kane entirely deciding to f*** off Champions League football and the possibility of more silverware, to join a really sh*t Manchester United. And that’s supposing Bayern would be remotely open to selling a player who has scored an extraordinary 62 goals in 63 Bundesliga games.
The pay-off paragraph is a thing of great wonder…
Whether United would entertain the prospect of signing Kane, or whether the England international would be open to returning to England. However, if Bayern do pull off a deal for Sesko, it would be the perfect green light for United to swoop in and bring in the ready-made goalscorer needed.
The first sentence makes literally no sense. But you simply cannot argue with the second. And that’s that. Deal done. Done deal.
Two strikers? Two strikers?!
‘Arsenal are staging their own “beauty pageant” as they are actively pursuing deals for both Viktor Gyokeres AND Benjamin Sesko,’ writes John Cross on the back page of the Daily Mirror. The ‘AND’ in capitals indicates that we are supposed to be surprised.
‘While they do not plan to sign two strikers, Arsenal sporting director Andrea Berta is keeping his options open and has held advanced discussions over both players.’
It’s almost like Arsenal sporting director Andrea Berta is acting like every other sporting director in world football.
Who amongst us thought that clubs had a list of targets but refused to work on the second name on the list until the first became an impossibility? John Cross, perhaps.
Indeed, on June 2, the BBC‘s Sami Mokbel wrote: ‘So in terms of Gyokeres or Sesko – my information is that the club are working towards confirming the frameworks of both deals before making a final decision on which to proceed with.’
Both players have been consistently linked with Arsenal over the last month and yet suddenly, the Daily Mirror have delivered this as back-page news, allowing their Chief Football Writer to deliver this claim as some kind of scoop.
Just wait until he spots that Sesko will actually join Bayern Munich, leaving Harry Kane with almost no choice but to join Manchester United…
