Liverpool are out of the Champions League, which you’d think might be a big enough story for everyone not to need to make up any extra guff about. You might think that. But you’d be wrong.
Red flag
It’s rarely good news for Mediawatch when there’s a genuinely massive football match with a genuinely massive result, because it generally means there is less need for the media to go around making up some bollocks about it. And Mediawatch is all about the bollocks.
Thank heavens, then, for the Mirror and their relentless, unstinting commitment to finding the most ridiculous bollocks even where no such bollocks exist or are required.
PSG star leaves Liverpool fans furious with antics after Champions League win
This is, we’re sorry to say, going to lead to another Mediawatch lecture about words having meanings. Sorry about that.
So. Antics. The dictionary defines this as ‘foolish, outrageous or amusing behaviour’. We would be fascinated to discover which of those the Mirror think ‘Achraf Hakimi celebrated by holding up a PSG flag’ falls under.
And, while we’re at it, whether ‘Hakimi’s gesture was met with jeers by some in the Kop’ constitutes Liverpool fans being left ‘furious’ by his foolish/outrageous/amusing behaviour.
We’re pretty sure lots of Liverpool fans were upset at that time. We’re very sure that it wasn’t really about Hakimi holding up a flag. We doubt many of them even noticed.
It’s embarrassing, though, that after all these years Mediawatch can still get caught out by expecting too much of the Mirror.
Like the sweet summer child we absolutely aren’t, we naively thought the flag itself must have been in some way controversial.
Like it was daubed with ‘F*CK YNWA’ or something, instead of what it actually said which was – and you may wish to take a moment to ready yourself lest your fury overtake you – ‘PARIS SAINT-GERMAIN’.
Antics. F*cking antics.
Surprise, surprise
We’re all guilty of getting a bit too hyper-focused on the Premier League at times, but the Daily Mail are saying the quiet part loud here about the Ballon d’Or contenders.
Thierry Henry snubs Mohamed Salah to name surprise former Premier League star as favourite for Ballon d’Or – and hints at Liverpool forward’s reliance on penalties
Yes, the ‘surprise former Premier League star’ is indeed Raphinha and his mere 27 goals and 19 assists this season for a little-known Spanish club called, ah, can’t remember now, Barcelona is it? Something like that.
He’s also scored 11 of those goals in something called the Champions League? Dunno what that is, but it sounds important.
Batter up
Regular readers will know Mediawatch is a huge fan of the current vogue for first-person headlines, but this is a truly eye-catching addition to the canon from the Express.
I watched PSG batter Liverpool – Arne Slot has a big problem if Mo Salah extends his deal
We genuinely had to check this wasn’t about last week’s game. It would be a very slow reveal, but would at least make some kind of sense.
Credit where it’s due, we guess, for at least coming up with what is perhaps the first truly unique and therefore weirdly justifiable ‘I watched’ take because truly not one other person in the world at Anfield or in front of their TV watched PSG batter Liverpool on Tuesday night.
It’s only words
Fair play to the Mirror for putting this headline…
Arne Slot lost for words with question he was asked immediately after Liverpool lost to PSG
…above a story that contains precisely 150 words from Arne Slot.
Where Eagles Stare
Still more fun to be had with those Man Utd stadium designs, it seems, with some fans spotting that one of the artist’s impression images of the new stadium and concourse contains a small upside down Manchester United flag.
As well as fearing what seeing that might do to Liverpool fans, we are also forced to take pedantic issue with one line from the Daily Star coverage of this large news.
Eagle-eyed football fans spotted a glaring error in handout photos of Manchester United’s new 100,000 seater super stadium after it was announced
Which is it, lads? Were the fans eagle-eyed or was the error glaring? Really does feel like it absolutely cannot be both and we won’t be able to settle until we know for sure which one it actually is.
May day
United’s new stadium content isn’t all Big Tops and upside-down flags, though. No; if you’re the Manchester Evening News it is also a key indicator of future transfer strategy.
Manchester United drop hint on future stars in new Old Trafford stadium update
Sigh. Have they, though? Okay, go on then.
Manchester United may have dropped a hint as to which players may be crucial to the club’s long-term future.
Always, always, always a good sign when the confidence of a headline is replaced by the word ‘may’ appearing not once but twice in the intro once your click is safely banked.
The hint is that Amad Diallo, Alejandro Garnacho, Leny Yoro, Manuel Ugarte, Lisandro Martinez and Chido Obi all appear in a two-minute new stadium video from United’s socials.
Even at a sensible club with a clear transfer strategy, the idea that anything a team putting together this video might come up with constitutes anything more than an educated guess about which players might still be around five years down the line is a daft one.
We’ve given this more thought than it merits and concluded that, yes, this is indeed even worse than seeing subtle transfer clues hidden in kit launches and calendars.
