The idea that Marcus Rashford is trouble has long been a click machine; some will contort themselves to get Man Utd fans on board…
Rash decision
The media has long been invested in Marcus Rashford being trouble. That equals clicks. So we know why the Express have pulled this nefarious bollocks, but it does not make it any more excusable.
With Rashford playing in the Champions League with Aston Villa tonight and crisis eternally swirling around Manchester United, the time is now for gossip about the boy grown-assed man.
Which is how we get here…
‘Man Utd proven right about Marcus Rashford as Aston Villa dressing room view emerges’
Obviously what you are supposed to think is that Rashford has been a) lazy, b) a c*** or hopefully c) a lazy c***, thus proving Manchester United ‘right’ to send him out on loan.
The problem? Well apart from ‘literally everything’, is that Rashford has been neither a) nor b) and so very obviously not c). In fact, as John McGinn has said, Rashford and fellow new signing Marco Asensio are “good guys who are hungry to succeed, and they’ve worked hard”.
And that’s the ‘dressing-room view’ (we had to insert the hyphen, it was making us itch) that has ’emerged’.
So how to spin that as ‘proving Man Utd right’? Not that it matters once you have clicked, obviously.
‘Rashford’s early success at Villa Park proves the Red Devils right for backing his quality when committing to a new five-year contract in 2023, a decision for which they’ve been slammed.’
Sorry what? The best story you can muster is that Manchester United have been proved right in giving Rashford a £320,000-a-week contract almost two years ago because he “hungry to succeed” while on loan at Aston Villa?
But never mind the reasoning, count the clicks.
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Naive much?
‘IT was an FA Cup weekend which showed just how far Manchester United have fallen,’ writes The Sun‘s Chief Sports Writer and – this seems important – Fulham fan Dave Kidd.
Firstly, was it balls; the Premier League table does that. But let’s hear him out…
‘In a fascinating quarter-final line-up, there are four clubs – Bournemouth, Brighton, Fulham and Crystal Palace – who have never won the Cup but who have realistic ambitions of doing so on May 17.
‘All four are infinitely smaller than United but sit above Ruben Amorim’s men in the Premier League table.
‘So when Rooney doubts United’s stated ambition of winning the title in their 150th anniversary year of 2028 – chief executive Omar Berrada’s so-called ‘Project 21’ – he is absolutely right.’
That ‘so’ is making one hell of a leap; the theory is that because Manchester United are not in the FA Cup but some measurably better sides are, Manchester United should not be targeting a Premier League win within the next three seasons?
Penny for the thoughts of Kidd in 2016 when Chelsea finished below Southampton, West Ham and Stoke and then won the actual Premier League the following season? We imagine as a Fulham fan he might feel a little sore about that. And he should certainly remember.
‘Portuguese Amorim is a searingly honest press-conference operator but he was wrong to sneer at Rooney with his ‘that is why I’m manager of Manchester United at 40’ jibe.
‘That Rooney’s managerial career has stalled after four underwhelming jobs by the age of 39 does not mean his comments lack credibility.’
It wasn’t ‘sneering’ and it wasn’t a ‘jibe’; Amorim manages a club with a plethora of former footballers being paid to voice their opinions despite no discernible managerial success and he was right to point out that being a pundit is “really easy”. It’s far easier than being the manager of a sh*tshow of a Premier League football club.
Will Manchester United win the title in the next three years? Probably not. But imagine the media reaction if they admitted that was a pipe dream? This Is Manchester United Football Club We Are Talking About, after all.
‘Are only successful football managers allowed to assess football managers?
‘Sir David Attenborough has never been a Rwandan mountain gorilla but he made a decent fist of talking about them.’
How very droll.
Seriously, are we really pretending that Amorim did not agree with Rooney’s assessment that he was being “naive” because he knew about Rooney’s rotten Championship record with Birmingham and Plymouth? What did people expect him to say? “Well of course Wayne is right…I am naive because Manchester United are proper sh*t and always will be.”?
‘The idea of United targeting the title in 2028 is nonsense.
‘Before they can even think about challenging Liverpool, Arsenal or Manchester City, they must get past that little lot of FA Cup quarter-finalists – Brighton, Bournemouth, Fulham and Palace.
‘United are not experiencing a one-season blip. They are suffering from a dozen years of rank boardroom mismanagement.
‘Would you bet on them finishing above Brighton, Bournemouth, Fulham or Palace next season?’
Yes. Absolutely. Two seasons ago Chelsea finished below three of that quartet of clubs. Last season they finished above them all and will likely do so again this season.
Welcome to football, Dave.
‘Bournemouth and Brighton are diamond miners in the global transfer market, Fulham are more adept at recycling unwanted Premier League players and at Palace it’s a mix of the two approaches.
‘But all have succeeded while United have continually failed. And these are the clubs United must surpass before they even think about challenging to be champions of England again.’
Pesky fact: Even amid all this ‘continual failure’, in a Premier League table of results since 2013, Manchester United are still sixth. And almost 200 points ahead of the next team.
Does it feel fair? No. Does it mean Manchester United – with almost quadruple the revenue of Fulham – will likely return to the top six? Afraid so, fella. Dare we say it’s a bit naive to think otherwise…
