How will Manchester United even field an XI from their 23 outfield first-team players? The crisis talk is being ramped up…
Starter for TEN
There’s obviously some mileage in kicking Manchester United (they are one of our transfer window losers) but this just a steaming pile of hot turd from the Mirror:
‘Man Utd sign two and lose TEN players as disastrous window for Ruben Amorim slams shut’
It has been something of a disastrous window – we’re not sure how United have managed to emerge with fewer attacking options – but it takes some Inspector Gadget-style stretchification to conclude that they have lost 10 (TEN) players.
We know about Marcus Rashford (0 Premier League minutes in 2025) and Antony (51 Premier League minutes in 2025) but who comprises the remaining octet that have ruined Ruben Amorim’s January?
‘Youngster Dan Gore has joined Wigan Athletic in a temporary deal, with Ethan Wheatley penning a switch to League Two promotion-chasers Walsall.
‘The loan moves don’t quite end there. Joe Hugill has joined Carlisle, with Ethan Ennis also being sent on loan to Doncaster Rovers. Cheltenham Town have swooped for Ethan Williams, while Jack Kingdon has the chance to get some vital experience with Rochdale. Sam Mather and Louis Jackson have both in the meantime moved to Tranmere.’
Not a single one of those players has even made the bench under Ruben Amorim.
Those players have not been ‘lost’ by Manchester United; they have been sent out on loan by Manchester United’s Academy.
Just wait until Tyrell Malacia completes his move back to the Netherlands; Man Utd will have absolutely definitely lost ELEVEN. How will they even field an XI from their 23 outfield first-team players?
TWO become none…
‘Man Utd confirm TWO transfers after deadline day as attacker seals move’ – Mirror.
Ladies and gents, it was Sam Mather and Louis Jackson. These f***ers are shameless.
In other news, water is wet
Over at MailOnline, they are also rolling out the capitals:
‘Ruben Amorim has made Manchester United A LOT WORSE than under Erik ten Hag, says Gary Neville, as he predicts ‘damage’ for next season with players ‘losing faith’ if he can’t stop the rot’
The emphasis on A LOT WORSE is fascinating to Mediawatch; they are quite obviously and quantifiably worse. This is not news. Amorim currently has the worst win percentage of any permanent Manchester United manager since Dave Sexton. And it’s only this side of utterly disastrous because he has played and won four Europa League games.
Neville saying “it’s got a lot worse and that’s surprising” is an incredibly toned-down version of what everybody is saying and thinking about Manchester United.
Honestly, come back when a Manchester United pundit is impressed with what they see. Then we’ll roll out the capitals…
It’s still LIVE. Honest.
Trying to keep the transfer window magic flame burning is some task, which leads to this kind of nonsense in The Standard:
‘Transfer news LIVE! Arsenal get summer Isak boost, Watkins; Man Utd make key Rashford decision; Chelsea deals’
After some investigation, it transpires that the ‘summer Isak boost’ is that Newcastle United are interested in Justin Kluivert, who is not a striker and never really has been a striker.
So whoop…Isak to Arsenal really is practically done.
Millions and MILLIONS
Trust a West Ham fan to spin it in this direction but the addendum to ‘Chelsea stump up MILLIONS to offload Ben Chilwell as defender completes loan transfer to Crystal Palace’ in The Sun is that they would have stumped up a f*** of a lot more if they hadn’t…
The more things change…
Andy Dillon is The Sun‘s West Ham fan in question and he was also tasked with the match report from Stamford Bridge, which explains why it begins thus:
‘GRAHAM POTTER was back on familiar territory at Chelsea – to the extent of taking his old seat in the dugout.
‘Recent changes at Stamford Bridge mean the away technical area was once the home one, and vice versa.
‘Apart from that things are pretty much the same as when he was sacked in 2023 after seven months, following a run of three wins from eight games and with the team apparently in turmoil.
‘Last night’s fortunate win for the latest man to inhabit the home dugout is also only the third in the last eight games. An identical run of form almost two years since Potter was axed.
‘Yet Enzo Maresca is still regarded as the man to take Chelsea forwards…’
Pesky fact: Chelsea were 11th when Potter was sacked; they are now fourth. Things are not ‘pretty much the same’.
