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Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Tweets of the Week: Roy Keane hates masseuses, England lose, Gazza on Man Utd

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The club season is over, but the tweets keep rolling in – here are some of the funniest ones from Football Twitter over the past week. 

The biennial ritual of overhyping England ahead of a major tournament has begun. And god help Gareth Southgate if he’s unsuccessful. 

•England fans hoping to win the euros send a message to Southgate• pic.twitter.com/MUfsjLgx2L

— SimpsonsEFL (@EflSimpsons) June 9, 2024

Their preparation has been less than ideal, losing to Iceland in a warm-up friendly. 

England losing to Iceland reminds me of one of the greatest football rants of all time…


— Jay Motty (@JayMotty) June 8, 2024

Read – Five Premier League transfer targets in the Euro 2024 shop window

Liverpool’s Jarell Quansah got on the pitch, despite the fact he’s not in the final England squad heading to Germany. 

Quansah coming on even though he’s not been selected for the Euros pic.twitter.com/hoOtjpCvNm

— George Scaife (@Scaife51) June 7, 2024

It’s just a shame the Three Lions have succumbed to WOKE. 

IT’S COMING HOME ⚽🍻 https://t.co/6Cj3eakAcC pic.twitter.com/ulXMaYkt0O

— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) June 7, 2024

Read – Four potential surprise packages at Euro 2024

Paul Gascoigne gives a definitive response to the theory that Alex Ferguson would have kept him on the straight and narrow if he had joined Manchester United. 

??😭😭 pic.twitter.com/OzcqMbRHhe

— pdb (@nufcpb) June 5, 2024

Roy Keane had Ian Wright in bits with his tirade against masseuses. 

“You can not be ready to go to battle!” 🤣

If you’re a masseuse look away now… 🫣 pic.twitter.com/CLTvRhtWcM

— The Overlap (@WeAreTheOverlap) June 4, 2024

Read – Every Premier League transfer in the summer transfer window so far

The Ireland legend’s face says it all when Wayne Rooney revealed his strange sleeping habit. 

The Overlap kills me 😂

Keane’s face when Rooney says he sleeps with a hairdryer on 🤣 I genuinely howled with laughter pic.twitter.com/bB0TqhfzJL

— Tash Everitt (@natashaeveritt7) June 4, 2024

Real Madrid finally unveiled the signing of Kylian Mbappe with their customary comunicado oficial – a tweet that received almost a million likes. 

Comunicado oficial: Mbappé.#RealMadrid

— Real Madrid C.F. (@realmadrid) June 3, 2024

Read – The best free transfers ever as Mbappe joins Real Madrid

Man City boss Pep Guardiola decided to take in some NBA in the offseason – and he does not look like he’s having a good time. 

For everyone wondering why he looks so stressed, basketball is a game of constant transitions. This man’s head will be spinning. 🤣🤣 https://t.co/z1qQ2ZTUYX

— Macca ⚽️ (@MaccaCoaching) June 7, 2024

Even on holiday Pep can’t log off. Look at him, probably chewing the ear off Joe Mazzulla about the virtues of positional play. 

Pep Guardiola coaching up Joe Mazzulla ✊

(h/t @MHershgordon ) pic.twitter.com/qbcxP4MqLG

— NBACentral (@TheDunkCentral) June 5, 2024

Read – Why Man City are suing the Premier League

Instantly ruin a birthday with this one weird trick. 

Have your cake and eat it?! This River Plate superfan —celebrating her 40th birthday— was in for a surprise upon cutting her supposedly River Plate cake! Not sure how to describe her reaction… pic.twitter.com/qRF63jqdUh

— Tears at La Bombonera (@BomboneraTears) June 4, 2024

This is an educational video. 

Been watching this sport for over a decade and only now learned the lyrics to this pic.twitter.com/czI27v7pGG

— Sumeet (@flameosumeet) June 4, 2024

Read – Four Premier League stars whose futures are up in the air

The marketing people at WWE didn’t think this t-shirt design through. 

Yanks walking around Glasgow in that top. https://t.co/S75VM7A8fB pic.twitter.com/MRFujYHDx9

— Click the link (@BenTheTim) June 8, 2024

We need to do something about the dire state of dressing room patter in modern football. 

Petrovic: “I have beetroot a lot, most times. So, Cole [Palmer] gave me the nickname Beetroot. I needed one for him and he eats a lot of beans, which I think is normal for English people, so he is now Beans.

I know people call him Cold Palmer, which is a correct nickname for… pic.twitter.com/RUzeBzvSgl

— Vince™ (@Blue_Footy) June 8, 2024

Read – Chelsea go all in on new manager with everything to prove

Tanguy Ndombele is set to leave Spurs on a free transfer five years after joining the club for £55m. Oof. 

He sulked, was lazy, never trained hard, he walked slowly off against Morecombe,
Still, there goes the
best damned midfielder ever to play for the club https://t.co/pQSYSd8uEp pic.twitter.com/ACFNB9954x

— TottenhamSimpsons 🍩 (@SpursSimpsons) June 8, 2024

Rio Ferdinand should just wear clown makeup for every broadcast at this point. 

Worked out what this reminds me of https://t.co/2cwJJBsLHR pic.twitter.com/GGxtEuF5md

— Fisted Away (@fistedaway) June 4, 2024

Read – Five England eligible players representing other nations at Euro 2024

The US got absolutely smoked by Colombia ahead of the Copa America. 

escobar in hell rn https://t.co/mZbAtiAk9y pic.twitter.com/goab6RznOX

— Trig (@Kharlerh) June 9, 2024

If the Copa is anything like this, I will be tuning in for every game. 

This is peak South American football 🇺🇾

The striker barely “shoots” towards the goal, an overweight defender fucking dies for no reason, another defender misses the entire ball trying to clear it, then a random dog celebrates the goal in the stands.pic.twitter.com/g3h05EO3F8

— 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗠𝗚☝🏻 🇫🇷⁷ (@TopMGSzn) June 4, 2024

Read – Five post-European Championship transfer flops

Confirmed: Joe Biden is a City fan. 

Just the most inappropriate time to do the Poznan pic.twitter.com/tP20QwT2ZS

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 7, 2024

The camera work on this video is Academy Award worthy. 

😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/uQNXCowejw

— oliver (@OliverPostingLs) June 3, 2024

Read – Four Premier League stars whose futures are up in the air

See Also – Five big names who will miss Euro 2024 through injury

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