When is a sensational swap deal not a sensational swap deal? Man Utd and Chelsea are the latest pawns, but not everybody can be as perfect as Liverpool…
Swap shop
‘Chelsea and Manchester United are weighing up the possibility of trying to send Christopher Nkunku and Alejandro Garnacho in opposite directions this summer,’ was the revelation from the Daily Telegraph on Monday night.
We say ‘revelation’ but both transfers had already been heavily reported; the Telegraph were perhaps the first to do the old 2+2 = 4 calculation. Or the first since January anyway.
They were at pains to point out that no talks have been held and – this is important – ‘there is no expectation of a swap deal being negotiated’.
Did you get that? No swap deal.
The problem? The media absolutely bloody loves a swap deal. They happen roughly 0.02% of the time that they are discussed and they are discussed A Lot. Manchester United have been involved in about 27 potential swap deals already this summer. And it’s still June.
So ‘no expectation of a swap deal being negotiated’ quickly became…
‘Football transfer rumours: Garnacho and Nkunku set for blockbuster swap?’ – The Guardian.
No. Next.
‘Chelsea and Manchester United explore Christopher Nkunku and Alejandro Garnacho swap deal’ – Sky Sports.
No ‘exploring’ as yet and no swap deal but carry on…
‘Manchester United target £52m Chelsea star in Alejandro Garnacho swap’ – Metro.
Nope.
‘Man Utd and Chelsea ‘considering sensational swap deal to send Alejandro Garnacho to Blues’ after latest stunt’ – The Sun.
This is particularly wonderful as the only mention of a ‘swap deal’ in the article explains that ‘a deal wouldn’t be structured as a direct swap deal, with two separate transfers more likely’. So not a swap deal. And not sensational.
‘Man Utd and Chelsea weighing up sensational swap deal after two transfer requests’ – Mirror.
A swap deal AND transfer requests. It’s like click Christmas. Now if only any of those things were true.
‘Alejandro Garnacho involved in sensational ‘swap’ deal with Premier League club that would solve major Man Utd problem’ – SPORTbible.
They claim that Manchester United are weighing up ‘the possibility of using Alejandro Garnacho as makeweight’, which is an added piece of entirely fabricated information. It’s made us almost forget there is no swap deal at all.
Masterstroke
We tried to make it through the Liverpool Echo‘s ‘Liverpool transfer clause decision could be latest in long line of masterstrokes’ without doing a little sick in our mouths but failed; the narrative is set that the Reds are absolutely f***ing brilliant at this transfer lark. And they look so sexy in red.
After all, they have reaped great rewards from the buy-black clause ‘masterstrokes’ inserted into deals for Rhian Brewster and Jordon Ibe among others.
So they have definitely ‘pulled off another masterstroke…a really clever piece of business…the latest in a long line of intelligent clauses…’ by inserting a buy-back clause into the £30m transfer of a player they reportedly valued at £50m.
And they might be about to pull off another coup by signing Marc Guehi from Crystal Palace.
Liverpool have perfect £35m blueprint to complete Marc Guehi transfer
We had to wade through an awful lot of words to finally discover that the ‘perfect £35m blueprint’ is actually the 2017 signing of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from Arsenal.
As the Ox left six years and not even 150 Liverpool games later on a free transfer, perhaps that particular blueprint should be confined to the bin.
But presumably not before it’s served its purpose of suggesting that Liverpool could pull off another ‘masterstroke’ by signing Guehi for around £10m less than his current asking price.
Over at the Mirror, they are as ever on board the ‘Liverpool rah rah rah’ train as they report that ‘Marc Guehi is set to make a decision on his future based on the amount of game time he will receive amid a four-team race for his signature’ and somehow emerge with a headline trumpeting a ‘key factor that could give Liverpool edge in race for England star’.
Yes, the club where the same central defensive pairing started 30 of the 32 Premier League games for which they were available last season definitely has the ‘edge’ when fighting to sign a central defender who wants guaranteed minutes.
It’s nailed on.
Gone with the windfall
And the good news keeps on coming for Liverpool, with Mirror stablemates the Express bringing us more excellent Liverpool transfer news. A new ‘masterstroke’ you might say.
Liverpool set for transfer windfall as Saudi giants enter final step to complete deal
And what a ‘windfall’ that might be…a whole £5m from Atletico Madrid for Andy Robertson if Theo Hernandez completes his move to Saudi Arabia from AC Milan and the Spanish club move for the Scot instead.
That imaginary transfer will definitely ‘offset’ all that money spent on Florian Wirtz and Jeremie Frimpong. They are so damned good at this.
