Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand often just say things and that isn’t particularly ideal for professional Manchester United FanZone pundits.
The LUCK of the draw
It is an absurd show of self-importance, as what should at least pretend to be the preeminent outlet for coverage of Manchester United, for the Manchester Evening News to lead with this as their headline story after that preposterous game at Old Trafford:
‘LUCKHURST: Manchester United players Noussair Mazraoui and Victor Lindelof left Old Trafford at half-time vs Lyon’
Thank the lord that Samuel LUCKHURST managed to get that scoop from ‘a United source’. Everyone else had to manage just hearing it live from actual Manchester United manager Ruben Amorim on TNT.
We still believe
‘Rio Ferdinand makes Man Utd Europa League vow after Old Trafford ‘miracle” is a tantalising headline from the Daily Mirror website, although Mediawatch is setting itself up for a fall by hoping for that ‘vow’ to be Ferdinand saying he will immediately retire from punditry or speaking or thinking after what happened at Old Trafford.
Alas, that is not quite what we get. But this is pretty daft in and of itself:
‘Manchester United legend Rio Ferdinand believes the team can win the Europa League after their “miracle” to overcome Lyon with a sensational 5-4 win in the dying minutes of the game.’
They are a) one of four teams left in the competition, and b) the favourites in many markets. What a bizarre waste of breath to feel the need to point out they ‘can win’ it.
It’s also not really a ‘vow’. And managing to clear up your own mess after randomly soiling yourself at home to the fourth-best team in France who have been reduced to ten men isn’t exactly walking on water either.
MORE ON THAT MANCHESTER UNITED MADNESS
👉 Amorim ‘going through torture’ now but Manchester United v Spurs in the Europa final could finish him
👉 Ferdinand tells Amorim not to sell ‘devastating’ £50m Man Utd star after incredible Lyon turnaround
Clear as muck
Staying with the Daily Mirror website, we have this bombshell dropped on us:
‘Ruben Amorim makes Man Utd priority clear as he reveals Premier League decision’
It turns out that much like since some time around early March, Manchester United’s ‘priority’ is to win the Europa League rather than investing everything in a push to finish 13th instead of 14th in the Premier League.
Say anyhting
And again we must return to that Daily Mirror website well for their wholly justifiable top story on Friday morning:
“ANYHTING COULD CHANGE!” Man Utd boss told his exhausted players exactly how extra time would play out as message before Old Trafford heroics revealed’
Not to be snarky – Mediawatch? Never – but it does feel unlikely that Amorim mapped out how Manchester United would concede two goals to ten-man Lyon before responding with three in the final seven minutes of stoppage time.
Did he really tell his players ‘exactly how extra time would play out’? Or did he bring on Kobbie Mainoo because he’s good in tight spaces, while chucking Harry Maguire forward because he can head a sodding ball? And is that really how you spell ‘anything’?
Paul the other one
Plenty of outlets have covered Paul Scholes saying he spoke to Nemanja Matic on the pitch before that ludicrous game. It’s all harmless stuff, with ‘reveals’ and lids lifted and all sorts.
That is all fine. Completely standard fare. The problem is specifically with what Scholes actually said:
“I just told him to leave our goalkeeper alone… but no that was it. He was some player Matic, he looks well. Obviously I played against him quite a few times, me and Rio when he was at Chelsea.”
Obviously he played against him quite a few times, him and Rio when he was at Chelsea. Obviously. It’s the one thing we all know about Paul Scholes, Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Matic: they faced each other quite a few times when Matic was at Chelsea. Scholes never shuts up about it. That and kicking footballs at trees 427 yards away.
Scholes, of course, retired in 2013 and Matic joined Chelsea the following January, by which point Ferdinand was in and out of the Manchester United side watching tapes of Phil Jagielka.
So Scholes did not play a single solitary career game against Matic, while Ferdinand did at least face him once – for 22 minutes of a match between Manchester United and… Benfica in 2011.
But obviously they played against each other quite a few times.
The SEVEN deadly sins
‘Premier League could have SEVEN teams in Champions League after Man Utd heroics’ is an interesting Daily Mirror headline because in that sense, those ‘Man Utd heroics’ didn’t change anything. The mathematical technicality was still there because of Spurs reaching the Europa League semis.
But yes, the Premier League could have SEVEN teams in the Champions League next season. It is guaranteed to have five and will very possibly have six if either Spurs or Manchester United win the Europa League while falling laughably short of the top five.
The seventh spot? Well, that depends on the slightly less likely scenario of Arsenal winning the Champions League – nailed on and ‘backed by the winds of football history‘, granted – while simultaneously finishing outside the top five.
And as they are nine points clear of a chasing pack taking it in turns to trip over themselves and each other, it probably isn’t worth worrying about. Remember when 11th place in the Premier League was going to qualify for Europe? Exactly.
Spurred on
‘Even the greatest of optimists would have struggled to envisage Tottenham pulling this off. But when Ange Postecoglou promised to fight “tooth and nail” for a place in the Europa League semi-finals in Wednesday evening’s press conference he was undoubtedly true to his word’ – Ryan Taylor, Daily Mirror.
If ‘the greatest of optimists’ couldn’t picture Spurs winning 1-0 away at Eintracht Frankfurt through a Dominic Solanke penalty they clearly weren’t that great after all.
Jerzy? Sure?
Mediawatch has become slightly obsessed with one creeping headline trope. The latest example comes from the MailOnline…
‘Liverpool legend looks unrecognisable as he links up with ‘starstruck’ darts star Stephen Bunting in Rotterdam’
And next to Stephen Bunting is just the single most Jerzy Dudek-looking man ever. He has the exact same beard, just slightly greyer! None of these former players are ever ‘unrecognisable’ if you are even only vaguely familiar with the ageing process.
